Something Stupid...
In case you needed further proof that the
human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods.
On a SEARS hairdryer: Do not use while
sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would
be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's
"just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this
because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as
opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Contributed by John Lim
posted by David at 10/09/2002 10:52:00 AM