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Thursday, March 20, 2003
Can someone explain to me why the hell US started bombing in lower iraq before the 48 hour deadline???
Can someone also explain to me why the blardy NBC commentator is such an ass when doing his report???
Can someone please please explain to me why the Taiwanese newspaper get info updated on their website faster than CNN???
posted by David at 3/20/2003 08:38:00 PM
This post is dedicated to peace.
Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace.
Thirty peace words for the thirty members of the so-called 'Coalition of the Willing'.
I know this is stupid but whatever it is, my action does not kill any people. People, if you are against this unjustified war, copy the first paragraph and paste it on your website. Everyone of us needs to show Bush that the majority of the world population is against war.
posted by David at 3/20/2003 09:16:00 AM
The War Has Begun...
posted by David at 3/20/2003 09:13:00 AM
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Long distance relationship dun work... i am very firm about this... i am not giving tat kind of relationship a chance at all...
yup... tat is all i am saying 4 now... till i sort out all my thoughts...
posted by David at 3/19/2003 01:29:00 AM
I wrote this really really long blog about Daimaru which disappeared... yup... Daimaru the shopping center... it is moving out of singapore for good... i wrote about the many memories i had with tat place... i sorta grew up around that place... so many so many of my memories in singapore are around tat place... so it is very sad tat when i go back to singapore, Daimaru will no longer be there to welcome be back... just like the many old memories i have about tat place... many of those memories, will not be there to greet me, to be there for me to find them when i go back... a bit sad... a bit a bit sad... just like many things now...
Anywae... i just wanna say... GOODBYE DAIMARU... thank you for being there for all the good memories... from my primary school days in Nan Chiau... till my days in RI... thanx for being there... thanx for giving me the good memories... will always treasure those memories... thank you so much... and GOODBYE...
posted by David at 3/19/2003 01:27:00 AM
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
sec 1 orientation in Raffles Institution... quite possibly some of the most humiliating experience i have had in my life till then... the unforgetable Walk of Initiation... all the suffering we had to take just because the seniors feel like it... all the ridiculous demands tat Mr Eng put us thru... at tat time... when i was going thru it... i had no idea why they do this to me... wtf... bunch of sadist... nothing better to do than just making our life miserable...
but like all activity in the Raffles Institution Dare the Experience (RIDE), there were lessons to be learned... and in my opinion.... one most important aim/lesson/objective... was to hurt our ego... yes... hurt out ego... the creme le creme of the PSLE batch of 1996... the elite of the singapore student population... top 3% of singapore's student population... the 400 odd of us... kings and princes from our respective primary schools... so proud of our ability and achievements... trashing thru all obstacles and made it to the great RI... we were the best... we know it... everyone noes it... and nobody thinks otherwise...
so... here lies a problem... if everyone.... the all 400 odd of us... all think we are kings... and none refuse to be second best to others... then it means we are gonna have some problems here... nobody want to listen to one another... coz we all think we noe better than the other... nobody is gonna work with one another... coz we all think we can do better than others... and of course... the usual finger pointing... coz... OF COURSE IT IS HIS FAULT... IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR IT TO ME MINE!!! why?? COZ I AM THE KING... I AM THE BEST...
think it is ridiculous??? you think i am telling some tall tale here??? hahaha... you can't be more wrong... look at the asian society...or even better... go look at some of the sign boards in taiwanese shops... everyone declares tat he is the king of something... king of chicken rice... king of beef noodle... king of this king of tat... king of fruits... blah blah blah... ppl think too highly of themselves sometimes... think they are faultless... but wat to do??? it is only natural to be protective of oneself... if you are not gonna take the initiative and protect yourself... who will??? so it is perfectly understandable... but... the important thing is to noe when the limit is...
two ppl quarrel... both has their own reason... but just how many times are we willing to listen to each other?? as we grow older... the number of ready made excuses are all there... we have quarrel so many times... argue so many times... tat once some one throw their point at us, we can immediately pull out hundred and one ready made excuses out of our bag to retaliate and avoid the blame and try to remain guilt-free... and we get so use to it!!! so good at it!!! tat we dun even noe or realise if it is a genuine excuse... or some desperate attempt to save our face n to win the arguement... talk abt the disintegration of our moral standard... take a minute to reflect... think abt it... does wat i just said make sense??? i dunnoe... you tell me...
communication between people are very important... sometimes the things a person say, can be easily translated into some other thing... a simple gesture, can also be misleading... hahahaha... i am probably most familiar with such things... things tat i do or say, always seems to get on the wrong side... i think it has more to do with the way i put it... my tone of voice... anyone listen to my voice before noe tat i dun really have a good voice... i tend to mumble sometimes when i tok... and tat can easily be misinterpreted as lack of interest or can't be bothered... i dun blame them... i dun blame myself... it is just too bad... wat else can i do??? i do try to speak up... but then ppl think i am raising my voice... and feel threatened or intimidated... plus i have the perfect face of tat of a butcher... so it is of no surprise tat many ppl have a certain impression of me tat was not wat i intend them to have... in fact... tat is probably the reason why i have very little friends tat truly noes me... they get use to the way i am... noe wat to take away from the various responses i have... and not be offended... but still... the truth is... those are the rare minority... only a handful of ppl in this world really noe me... the rest... just have some really distorted view about me... sad... really sad... the fact tat no many ppl in this world truly understand you is sad enuff... it is even worse when there are so many ppl out there who think they noe you very well... but in the end have all the distorted facts about you... very very sad... i dun mind ppl not understanding me... but it really saddens me to see so many... SO MANY ppl tat THINK they noe me... but at the end of the day... all they noe is the distorted me... this is something i am really helpless with... i can't possibly go... "HEY... tell me some of the perceptions you have about me... and let me see if tat is true..." siao... not happening... not possible...
the truth is... one thing has been troubling me since a long time ago... multiple incidents have trigger off such a large scale thinking... and wat could possibly result in me... having a total overhaul in one of the most important belief in my life... FRIENDSHIP.... my dad told me of stories of how he was betrayed by some of his closest friend last time... and he snorted when i told him i will live and die by Yi Qi... and tat every breathe i take is Yi Qi... (loyalty with respect to friendship n other things...)... he warn me tat one day, Yi Qi will be the cause of my downfall... and tat Yi Qi is rubbish... i dunnoe if he really meant it... coz he said it when we were in a really really bad quarrel... but like all the things my dad told me... i remember them deep in my heart (yeah...he will tell you otherwise...)...... and hahaha... this whole perception of Yi Qi and outlook on friendship are severely challenged.... and right now... i am really really... taking a step back... and re-evaluate my stand on this issue... this is probably a long overdue evaluation... and right now... i am inclining towards wat my father had said... friendship is all fake... Yi Qi is bullshit... years of friendship can be overlooked over some petty incidents... best of friends fuck each other up over ridiculous things... sudden realisation tat no one is around you when you really need them to be there... suddenly you are all alone... suddenly all your friends are gone... suddenly you are no longer their friends... suddenly all the time you had with them means nothing... and i am not being pessimistic and sounding weird here... i am merely listing down wat i had seen or experienced... "friend" backstab you... give you shit... when there is a conflict of interest... not necessary you are fighting with them... just the mere fact tat you happen to be in the way is a good enuff reason to screw you up... and why not he/she may say... YOU ARE MY "FRIEND"... YOU SHOULD NOE BETTER THAN TO BE IN MY WAY... AND I AM NOT GONNA FORGIVE YOU... COZ IF YOU ARE IN MY WAY NOW, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I CAN THRUST TAT YOU ARE NOT GONNA BE IN MY WAY NEXT TIME??? AND DUN SAY YOU CANNOT HELP IT... YOU ARE MY "FRIEND"... SO YOU SHOULD NOE BETTER.... hmm... somehow i get this sense tat friendship is being held hostage here... but can't deny tat it does make sense also... no one is truly right or wrong... but seeing such things happening... only one thing rings in my head... IT IS ALL FAKE...
wat is true in this world??? wat is fake in this world??? wow... deep, cheem question to ask... just the type of question tat i had refuse to face for a long time... as a buddhist, i was given the answer long ago... but chose not to accept it... i have hope in ppl... hope in this world... but think i am really blessed (???) with regards to this... i have been shown many doors and examples in real life to support my belief in buddhism... some of the strongest few happened during the period of my grandpa's funeral... it really opened my eye... showed me light... i start to find out more about buddhism and turn to it for explanation about things around me... and it really helped a great deal... but like wat the master said... when it really comes down to the crux of the things... i... like all other living beings... chose to turn a blind eye to the given answer... refuse to acknowledge it... is it a curse? or is it a blessing? so many times... in my attempts of refusing to acknowledge some of the explanations, i was shown examples of it... and forced to believe in them... so right now... all these examples on friendship... abt relations between living humans on this planet... wat am i suppose to do??? i noe wat i should do... but should i do it??? i need time to think... but each time i take time off to think and came up with another reason not to do wat i probably should, something will happen and push me back towards doing wat i should... this pushing is just driving me crazy... and i am not even showing it... no one noes... heck... nobody cares... and i dun need anyone to care... i entered this world lonely... and when i lie in tat coffin (pray i at least get one...) when i die... er... i dun forsee anyone joining me in there... and when i face the final judgement and awaits the final sentence after i die, i will have to do it alone...
alone... wat a scary word... i hate tat word... but why should i??? it is a fact of life... we will all be alone someday... sometime... i have been alone for so long... does anyone noe tat??? do I noe tat??? i do... but i chose not to... i chose to believe tat everyone noes me... tat everyone understand me... i tend to thrust and tell ppl about me... probably more than i should... coz i dun want to acknowledge the fact tat i am alone... yet i truly am... deep down... i am alone... no one is there... just myself... and with all the constant self-lying.. self-hypnotising... i dun even noe myself sometimes... i can't even find myself sometimes... and you noe wat... i am really tired of this... i dun want to acknowledge the fact tat i am alone... but i am... i really am alone...
hahaha... i think i dun sound coherent at all... and probably dun make much sense... not surprise... coz those are my thoughts... all jumbled and mixed... like a lunatic... like a man dying and desperately saying his last prayer... like a man sinking and trying to cling onto something franatically... but one thing i noe... there are questions tat need a final answer from me... certain critical decisions have to be made with regards to my life... some ppl say tat life is full of questions and we need to find an answer to tat... i think for my life..... the answers are there... it is a matter of whether i want to accept it or not... this is not some pessimistic thing... just something tat i need to think about and make a decision... a decision tat needs to be made soon... very soon...
posted by David at 3/12/2003 03:10:00 AM
Saturday, March 08, 2003
We all wish to think tat we are in full control of our life... and tat wat we do is no business of others... but the sad truth is... every action we do... will some how affect others... either in a positive or a negative way... now... why do i say this...
I neva finish JC... unlike my batch mates... i "ran away" from JC after a year n 3 mths... to me... it is a personal decision... i can't stand the system... i was not doing well in JC... i hate wat i was learning... blah blah blah... so i want to jump ahead and get into a University... and fortunate enough... i was able to get into university of michigan... life is so good to me tat i can hardly believe it... but yes... i was really really fortunate to be able to make it here... ok... but the fact is... my family is running on really tight budget to send me here to study... i am basically using up all my family's savings to come here to study... n tat... is a fact tat not many ppl noe... n i just dun go around telling everyone i meet...
well... right now... my friends just got back their A level results... so been keeping in touch with them... and suddenly... i realise tat the fact tat i am in UofM now... has created an impact on them... from my point of view... i thought i could possibly be a source of insipiration for them... coz if a loser... a real loser like me can get into such a great uni... then hardworking and smart folks like them of course should have more confidence in wat they do and draw inspiration from me so to speak mah... but i realise tat is not the case... they are more jealous/envious abt me than anything... they feel the fact tat i can get away from tat A level crap tat they have to suffer is something which they cannot stand... in fact... to quote from a girl i spoke to the other day... "i think you are just some rich brat who happily just took off and run away to US when you dun like it here..."
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i really dunnoe wat to say... i din noe ppl will take this in such a negative way... to me, i think it is a way of me to fight against the system and be in control of my life... i mean... i was sinking while i was in singapore... i was dying... and there is no way/chance of me surviving there anymore... and the only option is to leave and start anew... coupled with the fact that i want to come to US sooner or later... and many of my friends will probably do the same thing... but i mean to me, there is no real need to finish the A level right or not??? if i can get into a top University without the A level... (and let us be reminded tat the greatest reason why someone would want to study A level is to get into University eventually right?!?!?!?... other than getting in a JC and ball around and go to those JC party.... hahahahahah)... i mean WHY NOT?!?!?!? and the feeling tat this girl expressed is not just relevant to herself... coz i was sorta quarreling with her n something... so she just blurt out this stuff... but then it got me thinking... and i replay all the conversations i had with my other friends over ICQ n mails n phone... and it became very clear to me... i dun think it is the fact tat i am overseas tat is the primary cause of jealousy/resentment for them... but the fact tat i am HERE without doing the A level... tat really piss them off and make they feel fucked/cheated...
OMG... why is this happening... this should not happen you noe... i hate it when some action... some really simple and really personal decisions will have such a negative impact on others... man... i really feel like apologising... but then for wat??? for thinking up another way to survive instead of just dying there in NJC?? (be reminded tat i handled the whole University application process BY MYSELF... without any help or guidance from ANYONE... i chose everything... i decided... i gathered everything...) this is a way of showing my defiance against the situation... i am not going down... not in tat horrible GREY way... no way... coming here is about me trying to start anew and continue the fight... and if the people out there think i am having a jolly good time here... or tat THEY are gonna be having a jolly good time when THEY come over... hahaha... FORGET IT... TAT IS NOT HAPPENING... life here is just/ if not more hectic than it is back in singapore... there are more challenges... more things you need to handle... so to all you ppl out there who think LIU YEN LIN is having a freaking good time here partying and bed hopping around.... WAKE UP!!! and FUCK OFF!!!
but i still need to apologise... at least to those ppl i really care... my brothers in RI... i am soooo soooo sorry dudes... pls dun take this whole situation wrongly... and think i took the soft option in life... coz tat is not the case... pls understand that i really dun want you guys to feel cheated with the fact tat i can go into a Uni without going thru the hard path of A level while you guys have to... you guys all did fantastic for your A level... getting grades tat i probably wouldn't have gotten in a million years... you guys are the best... there are lots of things i need to learn from you guys... so pls pls pls... pls forgive me and pls understand my position and reasons behind my decision... i am sure you guys will all get into your choice of top universities which you guys really deserve... hmm... yeah... guess tat is about it... and to those idiots tat hardly noes me and only noe how to spread rumors behind my back and untrue stories abt me... welll this i have to say... BEAT IT... go get a life and stay away from me... i am sick and tired of assholes like you ppl tat i dun even want to spend any more energy tokking abt those freaking tales and bad reputation you spread about me...
posted by David at 3/08/2003 04:58:00 PM
Sunday, March 02, 2003
Something incredible just happened... taiwan's baseball league is back on track and totally revived... hmm.... feel so proud... baseball is the national sport of Taiwan... and after the league sort of splitted a few years ago, the league performance and ppl's interest in the league just bottomed... but luckily the issue is resolved... and ZHONG HUA ZHI BANG YEAR 14 started off with a big bang... hahaha.. full attendance crowd in the opening match between the Brothers Elephant and the Central Thrust Whales... of course the Brothers won laaaa... you noe the thing about brothers is... i always like the team... i think it has the spirit... but while i was still schooling in Taiwan and had the oppportunity to follow the actions, the team used to be solid contender for the last position... hahahhaa... but i still like the team... but hey... wat changes man... the Brothers team now is like totally huge... had won the championship for the past two years... not bad not bad... heeheee...
but then again... i won't be able to watch the action still... but with internet... hopefully i can feel the excitement and i really hope taiwan's baseball will be back on the world stage again... the team is always like 3rd after Japan n S.Korea... but our recent performance in the Asian Game in SKorea produced some really good results... if not for some really really blatant bias calls by the umpire, the team would have kicked S.Korea's ass man... oh well... but we will do that next time... MUAHAHAH... Zhong Hua Dui Jia You Jia You!!!
posted by David at 3/02/2003 11:44:00 AM
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