I am sure ya guys have heard of the Molotov Cocktail? But ever heard of the DAVID LIU COCKTAIL?!?!?!? i bet ya haven't
Unlike Molotov's cocktail which is used to treat puny diseases like AIDS, DAVID LIU COCKTAIL is used to treat the DAVID LIU's ILLNESS. Symptoms of this deadly disease is an outrageous outbreak of every possible illness. Usually it starts with severe sore throat, blisters in the mouth, then severe acute headache, then throbbing of the head, then fever, then cold, then fever and cold, then numbness in your limbs, then total lost of control of your ability to move, in the meantime while all these symptons start popping out and add on to each other, patients will begin to see and have recollections of what they just ate this morning or even two days ago as they kneel down in front of the (usually) toilet bowl chanting prayers like "F*cking sh*t", "holly F*CK" and many others.
In order to treat this deadly disease, the first diagnosed patient invented this remedy (patent pending). This cocktail comprises of a packet of this super expensive japanese imported medicine (which i have no idea wat it meant by super expensive or wat the hell tat medicine is actually suppose to do...) which kinda treats all illness tat david has gotten so far, a button of panadol (other than love sickness... MUAHAHA... so not farni...) and to be downed with a mixture of a pack of SUPER CHRYSANTHEMUM TEA and a pack of XIA SHANG JU.
No proven side effect such as brain damage is recorded (due to OBVIOUS initial lack of brain of the patient) and drowsinesss usually include 6 hours of total unconciousness even when your boss called you a million times asking you to come to work. Such medication is extremely dangerous but so far proven effective. The inventor of this medication is currently trying to come up with version 2 of this cocktail which is currently is at its initial planning stage and is forseen to include the use of Tara Reid, Carmen Electra, Kyoko Fukada, Norika Fujiwara and a strong doze of korean chics tat can be found on the UofM campus. MUAHAHHAHAHA
yes... as you can tell from this crap above, the tank is still sick but on its way to recovery after putting all those crap into his mouth at one shot out of desperation at 5am when he woke up feeling like dying and vomitted for godnoes how long.... and he end up missing work on wednesday coz he totally passed out and can't move his body even when he heard the phone ring and could onli stare at the phone till it stop ringing... sigh......
posted by David at 8/21/2003 12:23:00 PM