Went out with the new batch of singaporeans today to Meijers even though i was not feeling all too well still. Didn't even noe tat i was involved in this thing until about 12 when i receive a mail from the coordinator telling me to meet in front of union at 5.30. Well anywae, i tot this will be an opportunity to meet up with heng hwa since i have no idea where tat chap is, so i went.
i really felt out of place. not knowing anyone there is really weird and no one really make the effort to intro intro abit. hmm... guess tat is to be expected given the performance of their senior batch. most of them oledi got to know each other in singapore liao, so i doubt they will bother to make the effort to know me. so i basically stood there looking invisible, which i have really gotten used to whenever i am in the presence of the singaporeans here. I did try to do some talking on our way to Meijer when we are in the car and in a small group of 5... and here is wat struck me.
I think i lost my ability to communicate with singaporeans oledi. i basically have NOTHING to talk to them about. maybe i am the super ulu guy here. but when i try to talk, i tot it will be a good idea to talk about things back home, so i ask them about wat school they from, eca and how they like this place. but the kind of answer they give really make me dunnoe how to continue. They dun seems to want to talk about wat school they are from, eca is just for points, and UofM? "ok laaa, i got brother/sister here"... i dunnoe, somehow i just dun have the ability to strike up a spontaneous conversation with these people. I think they are friendly, but i dun really sense the eagerness to break down the ice in between. though i did met this guy call kevin who asked for my cell number. so it is like i said. i dun think the problem is with them, but more to do with my inability to converse with these people. not feeling angry, not feeling sad, it is more of a how-the-hell-did-this-happened kind of feeling. sense of lost and bewilderness. how?!
but can wat. It is not as if i suffered a total lost of ability to converse you noe. i saw Paul from west quad. and i just strike up a conversation with him. not say i always tok to him or wat, but i saw him, he saw me, we greet, and we exchanged some small talks which i found more comforting than the ones i had with the 4 singaporeans i was in the car with. maybe i am just paranoid or something. after all, this is the first time i am meeting these people. compare to Paul which i have seen a million times along the corridor even though we didn't speak all tat much, we definitely had more "interaction" than i had with those singaporeans. understand wat i mean? but yeah... no biggie, if they anti or clique like their senior then just too bad lor. but i just really hope it is not due to some problems of myself.
but on the bright note of the day, Paul told me as we were chatting tat he is no longer with lei lei!!! heehee... *evil*... nonono, not as if i like lei lei or wat. and definitely not as if now i got more chance or wateva crap. Lei Lei is a good looking girl no doubt, but i dun think she is my type at all. I am using the word THINK coz i dun think i have mix with her enuff to make a judgement call abt her. but yeah, so far the impression she gave me is one of a weird weird crazy girl. HAHAHAH... and of course, a girl is not attached means more chance to get to know her and definitely makes her cuter. Single girls are just so much cuter (rite or not alanna?!?! jk). HAHAHA!!!
posted by David at 8/22/2003 03:46:00 AM