The last time i tok to Teddy, he mentioned that i always need some spark to get me back to my energy and enthu level when i am down. how well Teddy knows me. when i feel down, i just need ONE simple reason to get me back to the chiong chiong chiong state. but i think tat has became a thing of the past. life just dun seems to get easier. shitty things just seems to pile up onto you faster and faster. and starts to drown you big time before you even have a chance to shout for help.
even when you do shout for help, or rather when i shout for help. help is becoming less and less. everyone is busy, everyone got their own problem... so i try to be more independent. i try to be my own spark. so... if now i dun even need ppl to be around at the times when i need them the most, then is there still a need to socialise? to make friend? to look out for people coz now it just you looking out for others and you are almost 90% sure tat they ain't gonna look after you when you need it. and tat 10% is essentially a warning to yourself tat you are still a lame weak shit and need to make yourself stronger to eliminate tat 10%. rite?!?! so everyone should just stay in their room, stop bugging people with their own problem coz it is afterall THEIR OWN GODDAMN problem. so buzz off coz i have my own problem!?!?!? is tat the rite thing to do? is tat the rite thing to say? but ain't we suppose to be stronger as we get older? to be more independent as we get more stronger? so if tat is the case? then wat is the fucking shit abt all tat emotional support all tat friendship network BS? mofo, you asking me if i am piss? you asking me to calm down? hohoho... are YOU able to calm down when you get upset? how many fucking wrist do you cut b4 you can calm down? how many bottles of booze do you down b4 you knock youself out and feel tat it is a beautiful world after all? you telling me i ain't rational? you think you can do betta than me if you are in the same position? hohoho... we'll see... dun laugh at me being crazy and emotional and blah blah blah... we'll see!!!
posted by David at 10/06/2003 01:44:00 AM