you guessed it... after the last blog which was the nite b4 my 102 midterm, i basically went into some shitty state of being. probably still in one rite now. sigh... this is bad... 102 flunked again. below mean tat is... sigh... and now got 401 coming up. econ is really kicking and ripping my ass apart. screw 102. now i need to focus on 401 and salvage wateva grade i can. but this just dun look hopeful at all. darn.
like reported in the last blog, flag football was the onli thing on the agenda tat day. was in a pissed off and tat whole day after getting back my results. so i slept the whole friday away until the flag football thingy. and guess wat, it was suppose to make me feel better, but i end up feeling like blowing my tops off. essentially i was told not to rush again. i think asking a DE not to rush is like asking the QB not to throw. the whole strategy is wrong for both offensive and defensive plays. it was plain frustrating. i have no idea why the "coach" keep insisting that the the opponent's offensive line is TOO BIG when i am easily making the 2 ppl guarding me flying away. i have no idea why. then the DEs were told not to rush. not to rush, effectively gave the QB so much time to slowly pick his options. wat was the "coach" thinking? i have no idea, other than being a stupid or inexperience, i have no idea why he is doing such things and making such calls. i noe alot of malaysians look at my blog and i am sure one or two will go aroung telling ppl wat i say, but i ain't bother at all. if there are some MOFO with the intention of screwing me up is reading this, you might as well go around telling ppl tat i am not playing for the team this friday coz i am going to chicago to get away from all these BS and about the play-offs, nah, forget it, i will be busy writing my papers, and rite now, i dun think it is worth my effort and time to do this kind of activity.
wasted the whole saturday and sunday doing nth but playing FFX. brilliant, just brilliant. i feel like slapping myself really hard but rite now i am in a really really murderous mood and i dun freaking feel like studying. but shit i still have to figure away to get my 401 straight. but this shit ain't gonna be easy man. being re-reading my notes and the progress is slow as hell and i dun think i will eva finish it. yeah, i should blame myself for wasting time on FFX rite? but i guess it is like taking drugs, i desperately need to take my brain off the crap shit of hws and academics so i turn to FFX, the fun is there while it last, but rite now i am just suffering from the withdrawal symptoms tat is the lack of time. ok, you noe the BS of "neva mind, now tat your brain is fresh, you can study betta" ain't gonna work for me. at least i dun think it is gonna work for me. feeling fucked means feeling fucked. nth goes inside my brain means nth goes inside my brain. but shit i am still gonna study. and study the shit out i am gonna do.
i think i am falling sick again. went to bed at 2 and i cannot sleep until like 430 in the morning. yeah, i missed my 102 and 401 lectures today which are essentially all my classes. but wat the heck, if i pull myself out of bed at 7, i would be sleeping in the lectures anyway. so might as well stay in my room and sleep. need to do something about it. my body is really screwed up now. need to take care of it. need to take GOOD care of it. if not, nth else matters if i dun have my health.
oh... i noe this is not suppose to happen... but i THINK i am having a serious crush again. yeah, you noe, tat type of crush which i always have which i just stay at one side to look at this girl tat is impossible for me and it just make me feel all shitty and lousy inside coz i can neva be up to her standard. sigh... come one guys, by now you should all agree with me tat i need a big big big big slap. and yeah, i really ain't feeling all too good.
posted by David at 11/03/2003 03:04:00 PM