Copyrighting this video from MC Hsiao who has tons of great videos Taiwanese baseball season is about to start. Dedicating this post to all the baseball players and the fans out there who support our teams. We will be playing this year in Athenes for the Olympics. Let's all wish our players all the best in this season and hope they can bring their game to a new level and do us proud on the international stage. Even if you dun like baseball, the song itself is really nice and i hope you enjoy it!!!
i call home alot. about at least twice a week. and if there are occasions, like bday or such, i call even more. then sometimes i oso call my friends back home... which i am not sure if it is the right thing to do. calling them is really not expensive at all. about 1 cent a minute... so even if i tok for like an hr, it is like 60cents plus alot of saliva on the phonespeaker tat's all... i dunnoe how those guys feel when i call them. to me, it is just awesome to hear their voice and get in touch with them. most of my bros are in army, so even when they book out, those lazy asses would probably just sleep at home or wat not... emailing me would be the last thing on their mind so me calling them is wat i feel to be the best thing for me to do. can i say enuff times about how much i miss them? but calling them, to me, is not coz i miss them, but coz they are my friend and i want to stay in touch. but i am really wary of how they take it when i call them... i hate it when my friend say things like "should have gone to UM with you..." i mean, i would LOVE to have them around... but still, i think they are using the fact tat i am in UM as some kind of escaptism from reality. i can onli imaging how sian and siong army life must be... but such is life... it is not like i am always having fun n such in UM rite?! C'est la Vie... you always want to think someone else is having it easier than you... but how can ya eva compare? i hate to bitch to my friends... i hate to complain to others, yeah sure, i grumble and i bitch, but my philosophy always have been "why bother those tat aint got nth to do with it?" ok fine, so i tell them how bad my physical condition maybe rite now, how i always kena shit prof, how i fucked up my grades, how sucky it is to be in some situations and how lonely i feel sometimes when no one fucking soul around me can understand and i just dun want some fuckshit look of sympathy... can they understand? yeah, i am sure as my friend they can... but so wat? they cannot do anything. sometimes listening to words of comfort can be useful, but i really dun need tat... and i dun see y i should tell those horrible things to my friend. it is kinda like a dilemma... me in UM to them, is like Santa Claus to kids (maybe to some of them oso... MUAHAHAHA) probably when they have it siong and shit in the army, they think of the good days and nice things i am having in US and tat make them happy or wat i dunnoe... but while i do try to hint to them tat while coming all the way here is a biggie, there is really not much other than tat and there is bad side to everything... i often just stop there... i dun wanna poke the balloon of fantasy for them... too cruel for me to do tat. and it ain't helping the matter when you have guys like alim going back home and tell fantastic stories to those tat wanna hear them... life is so different for different ppl... how can you compare the kind of life a guy driving a porsche with a guy that at one pt in time was surviving with onli 50dollar in his bank account?! yeah, alim would tell you that there was one pt in time he had to work two job and eat rice with soya sauce (so did i...) ... SO TAT HE CAN BUY TAT SECOND FUCKING PORSCHE!!!! wtf... i am not piss about the fact tat he is loaded and i am not... i am not happy that ppl paint too rosy a picture for others and make them so misinformed. i hate to mislead my friend, tell lies or anything like tat... and it just pisses me off when things like tat happen... i dunnoe y i am saying all these all of a sudden... maybe it is tat conversation i had with yaoquan when he was so surprised to hear tat i called those folks back home for chinese new year and is kinda updated on how they are doing n such... sigh.....
i always get guilty when i do my last minute mugging for exams. it is like all of a sudden, i realise all the sins i have commited, all the values i have abandoned and start to feel all shitty about myself. it is really bad. my grades has been just terrible by all account. grades tat are not worthy of my status as an international student, and not worthy of all the tuition fee my parents have to fork out for me to screw up so badly here. i am always aware of tat... but somehow, i neva get around to really do something about it. yeah i do study... i study till 2-3 am everyday... yeah i listen in class n lecture and i take notes. but, i can neva tell myself that i put in 100% of effort. sure, there are a million and one reasons i can throw in to explain why i am not in tat 100% effort zone. but the fact is, tat 100% tat is needed is not there when i really need it to be there to justify myself. feel really lousy about myself wheneva tat happenes. try to do my readings and suddenly my eyes just start to close and my head start to ache. try to work out those econ models but nth seems to make sense no matter how many times i read thru the text and the word "fuck it" just pop outta my mouth so easily. hate it when involuntarily, i just doze off during lectures. hate it when i can wake up after like 2 hr of sleep the nite b4 and fail to attend my econ 310 class. really damn lacking in the area of discipline. rite now i just feel like screaming and get someone to fucking give me a slap and kick my ass wheneva i need it. fuck low blood pressure, you dun fucking sleep in class and you jolly well pay attention no matter how giddy and painful your miserable head is. fuck lack of sleep, when it is time to go for class, you better wake the shit up and go down central instead of sleeping over in the bed. hohoho... tat's y they call it SELF discipline i guess... no one is here to do tat for me... so really, unless i do something, i am a goner, sitting here waiting to rot... as if it had not started oledi.
Hmm... i think it is ok if we like compete with others, but i guess wat i feel wary abt is tat after awhile, you forgot why the heck you are doing all these for. Won't go so far as to say that "the strong do what they should, the weak suffer what they must"... but competition brings about improvements and for tat, i feel it is necessary for mankind to survive. we are who we are now coz of many generations of competition. not just darwin's theory lah, but you can also think of it as technology's improving. companies try to outdo one another to bring new cutting edge tech to this world n such. so cannot say tat competition is unnecessary... but rather, we need to be aware and constantly remind ourself if the kind of competition we are involving ourselves in is necessary. I think tat is pretty straight fwd and pretty sure alot of ppl would agree with me on tat. but danger is, you often get so caught up that you are blinded by it all and have no idea what you are doing.
So i think it is important to look at other ppl. we all need a mirror for ourselves. we look at people all the time and often forgot to look at ourselves. i dunnoe... sometimes i see ppl doing some crazy shit, or crap situation, i get pretty alarm... and i wonder if i am just as screw up as tat. so i guess like wat the chinese saying goes mah "stone from another mountain can be used to carve our jade"... learn from ppl's mistake lor... dun just admire ppl's front, their achievements. think about what they did to get there. sold their soul to the devil? or worked their ass off? easy to see the fancy side like ppl say, but i guess for informed intellectuals (AHEM!!!) we probably need to go beyond tat...
Hey yoz... hectic week... exams this week that i am so unprepared for as always. sigh... really sianz beyond words. now even watching Conan and jap dramas feel sianz to me. it is just hte sense of choking up once again man. *take deep breathe*. the huge vomitting i had last friday was seriously bad. until now i still dun feel too good. so i decided to go buy some serious Vitamins. seems to help man... feels more energetic, but maybe it is just the feel good factor and me thinking tat way coz i am taking these supplements... hohohoho... btw, yours truly created an EGG BOMB last nite and got my lips busted so bad tat it bleeded so bad... here is some quick notes on how to do it...
1. want to make some tealeave egg
2. boil tea leaves in water until damn boiled, then put salt and soya sauce, boil again (20 minutes)
3. put uncook egg into the broth and cook...
4. after 5 minutes, crack egg and let it boil even more for like 20 minutes
5. shell it, wash it alittle with water
6. take two bites, think tat it taste really good
7. KABOOM!! (yesh... it went KABOOM) and you have your egg bomb with pieces of egg all over the room
8. try cleaning up all the mess with a badly busted lip and it still bleeding... MUAHAHAHAH
Hey folks, guess it is Happy Vday eh?! hmm... neva celebrated Vday at all. Unless you count tat once in RJ... which ended tragically with tat sunflower i bought in the hands of this girl i really dun like since pri sch. MUAHAHA...
well anywaez... busy week. crazy like shit. tons of work to do n consider. but anywaez, uploaded this new song. done by an up n coming artist. Show support ok!!! MUAHAHAHA *EVIL*
taken off alanna's blog... here are "some" movies i have watched so far tat were on her list...
1. X-Men
3. X2
5. Fellowship of the Ring
6. Finding Nemo
8. Home Alone
9. Aladdin
16. Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl
17. Edward Scissorhands
19. My Best Friends Wedding
24. Big Daddy
25. Billy Madison
26. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
27. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
28. Heartbreakers
29. Dumb & Dumber
31. Scary Movie
32. Look Who's Talking
36. Titanic
40. Legally Blonde
41. Austin Powers
44. The Two Towers
45. Return of the King
46. Mighty Ducks
47. Fast and the Furious
48. 2Fast, 2 Furious
51. Beauty and the Beast
64. Cast Away
69. 40 Days and 40 Nights
70. Bring It On
73. The Matrix
76. Never Been Kissed
77. Clueless
78. Bruce Almighty
82. SWAT
84. Phone Booth
85. The Lion King
89. Little Mermaid
90. American Pie
94. Mrs. Doubtfire
98. Romeo + Juliet
99. Jurassic Park: The Lost World
101. Miss Congeniality
102. The Rock
103. Face/Off
104. Moulin Rouge
115. Braveheart
116. Gone with the Wind
122. Fight Club
123. Star Wars: A New Hope
124. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
125. Toy Soldiers
130. What Dreams May Come
133. The Others
139. Practical Magic
141. The Fifth Element
153. Kill Bill Vol. 1
163. The Mask
172. Happy Gilmore
174. Bad Boys
175. Bad Boys 2
180. Shrek
181. Groundhog Day
182. Liar Liar
183. The Silence of the Lambs
184. Run Lola Run
185. Devil's Advocate
186. se7en
187. Zoolander
192. Chicago
198. Saturday Night Fever
200. Grease
206. Snatch
207. Murder By Numbers
209. Grease 2
210. Scarface
212. Lost in Translation
215. Man on the Moon
217. A.I.
220. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
225. Matrix: Reloaded
226. Star Trek: The Final Frontier
231. Good Will Hunting
232. The Truman Show
233. Millennium Actress
238. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
239. Spiderman
--- 86 movies.... or did i count wrong? and this is not even all the movies i have watched so far in my life. dun think i saw any De Niro movies the list. then no chinese movies except that fortune dragon cookie tiger thingy. no jap movie. no hindi movie. hmm... and i was still wondering how in the world did time slip me by. MUAHAHAH
Thanx for letting me read your blog. i always consider it as quite an honor when someone tells me to go visit their blog coz i think blogs are personal stuffs. an invitation to view a blog is like an invitation to view a person's heart...yupyup... so here are some thoughts i feel like sharing with you.
zhu jian and sui he are both very important virtues in a person. but as with most cases in life, going too extreme is never a good thing. too much of a former and you risk becoming gu zhi... too much of the later and you become sui bian... in my opinion, it is all a matter of intensity. do you noe that just a couple of days ago, a friend of mine finally told me that the ONE THING he cannot stand about me, is that i always tell people what to do. and i agree with him. coz i tend to have an opinion of my own very easily. and i never hesitate to tell people what i feel. how ppl react to it is entirely up to them. some people would think i am an asshole tat always tell people wat to do, while others think i have zhu jian... i really entered Tzu Ching so tat i can socialise more. so initially, you see i always very sui bian and not very serious... so y the change tat nite? well... coz my mouth is just way too big. seriously... wat i did tat nite could easily have gone wrong. who am i to make such statements about how a club is to be run when i have onli joined for less than a mth? no... dun say tat i chose the rite audience to say my words... i didn't i felt like it and i said it. that is how i work. do you think i have zhu jian or am i just ru mang i always feel that i am not really a man with true determination. the fact tat till this day, i still sleepover is the best testimony of how much "determination" i have. it really shows that i dun have much control over myself. words are really cheap you noe. you see those inspirational speakers, those inspirational writers... how many can really do what they preach? yeah... they have great things to tell you about how you should manage and run your life... but if they themselves can't even do it, who the hell are they to tell you wat to do? so i try to refrain from doing wat i did tat nite. giving ppl a "lecture". coz i noe i won't be able to do those things half the time. and if i am in the midst of it all, i would fare no better than anyone out there. yeah... i can be all logical and clear headed now... but it is totally another story when things really go down. so dun get all impressed and worked up just coz someone gave a brilliant talk. words are cheap. remember tat.
so, do you have zhu jian? i think you do. Zhu Jian does not necessary have to be displayed when you stand up and quarrel with ppl till your face turn red and your neck gets thick. Zhu jian can always be said as a person's jian ci. yup... tat's rite!! the kind of determination/insistance you showed when you made those beautiful cards for bidding. the kind of insistance when you took your own initiative to made those amazing dollar bills are things that impressed me and show me a part of you that you probably never realise. people tend to be aware of big and grand things. but frankly speaking, it is always the minor details that matter the most. a person tat do not have the ability to tend to minor details when needed, cannot be said to be truly successful in my opinion. but then again, how much detail to put concern with so that it does not compromise the overall grand scheme, is totally another valuable lesson we need to learn in life.
Confucius speaks of the "middle way". Buddha is enlightened when he heard a musician telling his disciple that "if you pull the string too hard, it will snap; too loose, and no music will come out". Thus, the trick to dealing with situations depends on how you manage and strike a balance between being both firm and relax. you may have a point, i am pretty sure you do. most ppl are just not used to speaking out their mind. the fact that you have a blog, and that you have so many things to comment about, simply shows that you are a person with your own way of thinking, your own method of looking at things and thus, you are definitely not a fei shi zi.
empty vessels make the most noise. so when someone is always able to make an opinion and make statements about things. it dun necessary means that he really noes stuffs. i am pretty sure that you just need to slowly let your voice come out onli. be more confident about yourself. we may all feel alittle shy about our ability, but being confident about your ability is not asking you to be bragging and showing off either. so dun feel bad. you have definitely showed us enough to make us, or at least me, believe that you are someone with brilliant ideas and thinkings. please dun hesitate to speak your mind next time at the meeting ok? i noe it is hard. especially when you feel that people around you are doing a much better job speaking their mind and are able to put their ideas across more persuasively. but hey... everyone has to start somewhere. i am not what i am since the day i was born. i was so blessed to have gotten into a good school that gave me the opportunity to polish my skills in this area. i hope you can also yi ming jin ren!!!
like i said, people are who they are today coz of things. well, we all tend to admire and stare in awe at someone else's ability. but in my opinion, behind every success that captures you attention, is a story tat would totally blow your mind away. the leadership opportunity i had in sch last time had its own tears n sorrow. do you noe that while doing all these i never had the support of my parents and how much of an emotional drain it was on me not to receive support from the 2 ppl i love the most in this world? do you noe how much hardwork i put in which thankfully enabled me to took back even more than i put in? do you noe how my grades suffered and the devastating year i had after that which almost drove me crazy and i had to go for depression therapy?? we all stare at the glamor, but how many actually saw what went on behind those? so dun admire, dun stare in awe. if you really want, let other ppl's success be your inspiration to work towards things. and let ppl's mishap and loss be a reminder and let you treasure what you have with you now more dearly.
as usual... these are really messy ramblings. it probably won't even make too much sense to me when i come back to read it again after a week. muahahah... but hmm... just felt like writing anywae... blogging has always been a good way for me to escape work and make me feel good when i tok some seemingly DEEP (more actually just crap...) things. MUAHAHA...
p.s. fellow Bayley exco folks probably won't be stranger to this kind of things i just wrote... yeah... these are the legendary letters i wrote to my junior comm members... so now you guys now that they are actually just bunch of bullcrap that sounds like something... but are really really are nth at all... MUAHAHAHA...
OK... here is wat i promised last time... an entry on my take on the Taiwanese Prez Election thus far.
not boasting. but early last sem... in september, when the election just got started. I asked Prof Lieberthal during his bag lunch on how good are the chances of the blue alliance and if they are able to sustain the lead. My doubt was, so far, they seems to have the feeling that they are a sure win, and so till tat pt, nothing substantial is being presented. no policy, no proclamation of future changes, no campaign promises... no nth. Well... Prof onli said something about that current polls have its weightage and they do mean something...
well... from a huge 20% lead then till the 50-50 race now. this was exactly wat i saw coming. taiwanese election at its worst again. scandals, saliva war, great fantastic promises which give ppl no clear idea as to how they are going to be implemented. Same old same old... and it just gets me all frustrated and wanna shout "WHERE THE F*CK ARE THE BEEFS?!?!"
it is really sad too see this kind of thing happening. yeah sure, we elected our prez and everything. but do you call this democracy? the person tat gets elected is the one that is best at backslashing his opponent and manipulating situations and throw dirt on others. is this the kind of ppl that you would want to lead your country? horrible... just plain horrible in my pt of view. blame it on the whole political culture? maybe you can. potential future leaders like Ma Ying Jiu till this pt in time still dare not fully flex his muscles coz he is scare of dirtying his feathers. can he survive at the highest stage? tat remains to be seen. but for now, both the blue and green parties are equally fucked up to me.
the blue alliance simply do not give ppl the impression that it has the power and determination to revamp the economy and bring taiwan back. gives me the impression that they just want to get back to the throne and such. from the fact tat after 4 years out of power and they still can't get rid of their black gold connections, they really dun give me any confidence that they have the po li to change things around...
the green alliance is just as messed up. from the beginning, i said Ah Bien is like a child trying to drive a car. green alliance really dun have the expertise to run the show. their policy forming is just not up to it. being the opposition party all these while really give them no experience in how to handle situations and they are just way to simplistic and naive in the way they handle things. from the worsening relation with US to its inability to revive the economy. i really have no idea what the hell they are trying to do with this country. or maybe they oso dunnoe?! the whole referendum is just one big joke. which in my opinion is just Ah Bien's way of trying to win election. which idiot would want to have a potentially hostile country aiming missiles at himself? do you still need to organise a referendum on this kind of thing? isn't tat silly? or is this just another way to serve your own political agenda in the name of democracy? i can't help but always be reminded that the Nazi Germany govt was elected into office using peaceful democratic manners. to me, Ah Bien is just a career politician. i dun think he eva have the welfare of the ppl at heart and everything he does is just for his own sake.
this is, to me, a case of choosing who is less black... trying to pick a less rotten apple between the two. how sad eh? inevitably, i think i will still root for blue alliance even though i really think they are messed up. at least to me, they have more ability to move this country fwd in the positive step and they are in better position to solve the issues at hand. be it economy, be it with china, or with US. no matter who gets elected, i just pray that the economy will be their top priority. fuck china, fuck US... if we can't even maintain a sustanable economy ourself, you think we are of any use to US, do you think china even need to attack us? Chinese premier Wen Jia Bao said that he gets nostalgic when he think of taiwan. i am PRETTY confident that he aint missing tat place any more than i do. but oh well... here is my take on the situation thus far...
Just remembered this quote by the best red devil i have seen play.
"Leaving a club is like leaving a woman. When you have nothing left to say, you go." ------ ERIC CANTONA
kinda appropriate of how i am feeling. really have no idea how to tok to her anymore. i dun like to quarrel... i dun like to act as if all's fine when she behave all weird and strange on me, then onli to claim tat she did nth. very simply put, i can't understand her. everytime i see her on MSN, click on her screenname, and just got stuck there... i dunnoe wat to say to her. can't connect. everytime when i feel that i am getting closer to her, i just get shoved away. I dunnoe what she want, therefore i dunnoe wat to give. I dun feel good when she starts to complain about things (which at times i can onli say that she is the one that got herself into that mess...), but i have no idea how to help her... i dun even think she want me to help. quite tiring... dun feel like saying anything anymore. but then i can't help but question if it is a case of "i can't say anything anymore" or really that i have nth left to say... sigh... but either way... have not been talking to her for such long time already. hmmm
the excessive ............................... are back again................................................. i think i am sliding back to some crap shit again and losing control of myself again. One good example is that i have been oversleeping almost everyother morning nowadays...
Feedback box now up and running. Thanx indirectly to Jebai coz i analysed his webpage code to find out how to position the source code provided by Halo... which is also the service he use and so i trust his judgement and just use the same one as he did and dun bother to source for another one. Experience tells me that this kind of lazy decision will usually backfire in the long run but wat the heck... at least get it up n running first. Hmm... why the sudden interest in giving my page such a massive face lift leh? i oso dunnoe... just for the fun of it and prove that 2 years spend in RI internet club and being its vice chair for tat short period wasn't for nothing maybe? or maybe i am just procrastinating like shit... econ 310 quiz tomorrow (dun let the name quiz fool you... the weightage is shitload heavy...) and i need to do 2 short discussion papers for Hays class oso (short as in at least 600 words each. sigh... such is da life of da polisci student...)... great... so far no idea wat to write for Hays class... and i am still like 6 page short for my own 310 review. meeting for Tzu Ching later tonite at dunnoe where... must go check again... so tat means i won't get to sleep tonite liao... shit... this is bad...
Been meaning to post this article up for my fellow christian friends... just something to let you guys thing. This is a question n answer session conducted by Vernable Ching Kong whom my family has been studying buddhism under. Go read. hope folks find it as interesting and brilliant as i did.
Performance today was a great success. It was awesome. MUAHAH... so proud of the guys. and we had such a blast. the clowning around with Mike by doing our own sign language was just sidesplitting. Bor Shuen is crazy and wacko as usual and pretty Meiyi and lovely Judith onli makes the hell week we had onli so much worth it. oh, of course the presence of Dung An to keep us in check is always grateful of. I guess step one is overcomed. This is a team ready to go. Now entering the final step of the volunteer work planning liao... anywae... here are two pix for you folks to enjoy. One is the tie i wore on my way to the performance. bought it in St Louis with teddy. Always wanted a tie like this... so cute and makes ya smile doesn't it? (yeah... i tot the team would be tense alittle so this might give some comic relief... heehee) and the second pix is taken after our performance. of course lah, since we can laugh so sweetly and act siao, the performance must been an awesome one rite?!!? YEAH!!! WE ROCK!!!
Uploaded the songs that i have been singing 24/7 nowadays... cool song. the song written for taiwan's baseball team. the lyrics is in the post below.
later today is the performance. i think we were able to impress the judge at how much we improved. but i think the real deal has just begun. stage fright? last minute panick? crunch time folks. wish me luck for my first stage performance after sec 2 dramafest. (er... the ill-fated NJ talent time auditon dun count coz tat is not the real performance.) Even though the nature is alittle different, a performance is still a performance. gambatte neh!!!
