hahahah... has been a loong while since i last blog.... man... life nowadays has been just so freaking overwhelming!!! finally now is fall break (notice how i happily chose to ignore the word "study", which actually comes behind the word fall, and the word break... MUAHAAHA)
but anywae... feel that i need to update some ppl on my life nowadays....
first up... back in michigan... which is huge... somehow i tot i would neva get back here (not tat i was REALLY dying to come back... after all the fun i have had in asia over the summer...) but yeah... back in michigan... and with a vengence. or something like tat... hohoho
secondly, finally broke the 21 yr dry spell and found my balls to pop the qn and is now happily broke.... erm... i mean happily attached... MUAHAHAHAHA... thought alot this summer, experienced alot and realised alot. guess i am more focus and aware of what i want to do with my life nowadays. and being with her is definitely one of the things. very very very happy. sometimes it could get really trying. but yes, i am trying and so is she. promised her that i will make it good while it last. so i am really just trying my best to do what i can and learn to be a good boyfriend, a good lover and be of the man worthy of her eventually. not easy. really not easy. well... when is it ever easy? even in movies... they probably took like 20 shots to get one scene right... and in real life, we ain't gonna have retakes for things unlike in reel life... learning alot. and hope she does too...
thirdly, crazy term. pushing graduation time soon... and taking 18 credits, working 12 hours a week, school work, gf, friends... sometimes it is really hard to priorities things. and i am really stretched thin at times. neva really online nowadays... since the only times i get to see my own room is when i go to bed at around 2am and when i wake up 5 hours later... always outside, always doing things... and it is just rough.... you guys know how much i love to be in the room myself and just let things settle down and let me reflect on things and ponder on things... but nowadays it is just chiong chiong chiong all the time... i am just glad that i have my friends who can share things with me, and my dear to lend a listening ear and support me with things. so big thanx to lovely ppl like andy, bs, geoff, henry and when he is around, wei for listening when i crap and for just being there. appreciate it. and of course my dear. won't make it this far without you guys. muakz... hahahahah
forthly, experiencing alot of things this semester... maybe it is the fact i am no longer alone and by myself and i really need to prioritise things much better now... last time it was very easy... not much work to do. but this sem, so much more commitments and so much more things i need to spend time with, that it is really exhausting sometimes... i am really trying my best to commit to all these things, coz i think they are all worth my time... and trust me, i am already very very prioritising oledi... really broke them down and limit them to the essentials... school, friends and myself. i am putting gf as part of myself coz i see no reason y i shouldn't do tat... and last time, friends really takes out huge chunk of it... coz friends goes under myself more or less... it still does, i swear. i still think about and care abt my friends like my own things and my own problem. but won't always be possible to mix gf with friends right?!? so it is very hard... and i am already being accused of neglecting friends n such. and it feels esp bad when i can't be there for some of my friends like the way i used to be able to. and it stinks and hurts... ppl like batcha... feel so painful everytime i think of him. he is going thru such bad patch of time and yet i can't be there for him. the juniors, how i wish i could be with them all the time like i could and share things with them... my brothers back home... fucking shit, i don't even have time to help chunyi edit his essays... feel terrible. and sometimes i even wonder if anyone could truly understand how i feel... i really care too much. so much that even i get overwhelmed by all these emotions. but this is just how i have been brought up. sigh... dun really noe wat to do... beg you guys for your forgiveness and understanding... even for my dear... i would give everything to her, would love to be with her all the time and give her all my attention. but i just can't... i probably should be helping her do research on grad sch, help her look for internship, help her cook and help her relax and be happy. but i have so much other things to do!!!! really really pains me... but i dun even have the time to explain it to ppl... and ask them for their forgiveness and understanding...
lastly... i am studying more than i have ever being doing for such a long time. not just the fact tat i am basically living in the library. but i am really getting my work done as much as i can and learning things. feels really good about it and it is kinda getting addictive. hahahah... even spending weekends in the library... used to think this is such a nerdy thing to do and so no life... well... still joke abt this but guess this is just really my life at this stage... one more year to go liao... if i dun study now... when will i eva gonna do tat? ahahah... oso need to thank dudes like andy, bs, geoff and henry for making the study experience fun, even though productivity usually goes into negative when all of us get together... but it really makes the experience so much more enjoyable...
okok... so this is pretty much wat i could think of for now... hectic times ahead... midterms burning my ass still... lotsa work needs to be done... so probably won't be blogging frequently still... but if there is any more stuff to come, it is within these few days of the Fall *ahem* Break... MUAHAHAH... take care folks!!!
posted by David at 10/17/2004 05:59:00 PM