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Thursday, July 31, 2003
Here is a piece of translation work for the chorus of the theme song for the jap drama BEAUTIFUL LIFE.
te wo tsunaidara itte miyou --> let's go there, holding hands
ayashii hoshi no hisomu oka ni --> to a hill where the strange stars lie
shigemi no oku e to susun de yukou --> let's go into the thicket
kega shitemo ii --> it doesn't matter if we get hurt
hijikeru you na egao no --> I want to see the other side
mukougawa wo mitaiyo --> of that open smile
WHY put this here leh? coz i am now one of the ops and part of the team for fan subbing japanese dramas on the MIRC-X server and the #Japan-tv !!! YEAH!!! Gambattena!!
posted by David at 7/31/2003 09:22:00 AM
was about to blog about my shopping spree at birch run yesterday, but i guess i will talk about some more important issue first.
Can't say i noe the exact details, but seems tat HCJC and TCHS students will get to take Uni courses in NUS starting as early as next year. Well, it is suppose to give students a taste of wat uni is all about and let them finish uni faster with the AP credit model. I really dun like this idea. It sounds really cool tat JC and even sec school students can now have a taste of wat uni classes are. however, is this really gonna be healthy for the education system tat singapore has? i dun think so.
Already, ppl in the education business in singapore, namely the ppl working at the frontline like teachers, are raising concerns about the kind of education tat students nowadays are getting. I am not sure how other students in singapore are feeling, or perhaps those so call highflyers in tat system feel. But i really feel tat singapore's eduction is too goddam result oriented already. not just tat. Students become so good with studies and school, that they become suckers when it comes to life and other things. Being here in UofM, i really got a chance to compare the kind of students singapore has produced and the kind other countries, other societies, other systems produced. Sadly, singaporean students are often said to be brilliant students, but other than that? the general opinions ain't very good. Seeing the way some of these so-call elites from the singaporean education system really disgust me and i really wonder if all these new ideas and "reforms" are pointing at the correct directions. Sure, all those benefits tat these new schemes are coming up sounds brilliant and fabulous. But like i said, are these what we really need or are there better things that we need to focus our attentions on?!?
I really feel priviledged to be able to grow up in the environment that RI had provided me. I was the low-achiever during my RI days. I was the model bad student of the system. My grade were below average. My teachers think i have attitude problem, i have problem with authority and i just aint doing well academically. My sister was just like me in a sense. But she was not in a system like RI. I would say that she really had a taste of what singaporean's elitism society is all about. She is in a govt school, unlike RI which is a private school. She was not doing well academically and she oso had discipline problems in school. Let's do a comparison of what happened to us.
Academic:
Me --> My teachers gave me remedias after remedias. Made me stayed back after school for extra lessons, did their own extra assignments for me to practise. When i dun hand in my work, they hunt me down like crazy, punish me like shit all because i did not hand in one miserable assignment. They punished me, embarrassed me and screamed at me for the smallest mistake i made. All these everytime without fail...
My sis --> Called my mom everytime something happened. Asking my mom to shape up my sister. Homework neva passup, throw my sis outside the class, call my mom. At the end of the day, nothing gets done. WHY? coz my sis neva learn her lessons, my mom can neva perform her role since the teacher neva tell her exactly what homework my sister did not passed up and her teachers neva bother to hunt her down until she pass up the homework.
Discipline:
Me --> detentions lor. But more than that, i always get pulled aside by teachers for small talks as they try to find out what is going on. Why am i giving so much trouble to other teachers. Ask me to change my temper. I could feel their sincerity even though i feel like they are a nag most of the time. My poor performance in and my inability to follow orders neva make them give up on me and they allow me to pursue my interest in other areas such as Bayley house work and all sorts of other nonsense.
My sis --> detentions. detentions. detentions. My sis again neva was able to learn her lessons coz no one try to talk sense into her. Her formteacher did a little of that. But unlike me who had almost every other teacher to tok to me every now and then, my sis onli had one teacher who oso gave up after awhile.
School and Family's relationship:
Me --> Like all good teenagers, family is trash during times of puberty and parents are enemy no. 1. I shout at my mom (since my dad was in taiwan most of the time back then), she trash me up like mad. I defy her everytime. blah blah blah. Of course judging from the way i am treating my teachers in school with tat kind of i-think-you-are-an-asshole kinda attitude, my teachers could of course imaging the way i am behaving at home. Still remember my sec 1 formteacher Mr Alan Soo. Time and again will drag me to one side and ask how my mom is doing and am i quarrelling with her again. He always remind me it is not easy for my mom to look after me and my sis all by herself and tell me tat as an older kid, i should behave more and let her feel tat what she is doing is all worth it blah blah blah. The thing is, my discipline problem in RI was mostly during my lower sec period. Or rather, the more serious discipline cases i mean. I was the first one from my batch to go for detention. Dunnoe get called up by my fromteacher dunnoe how many times and always seems to get into trouble with teachers. But still, Mr Soo was such forgiving and keep me on track on the time. And dammit, he even bother to nag at me about being a good son at home. As if i am not giving him enuff problems in school already. sigh... i am just so blardy grateful for wat he had done tat i think i really cleared up my acts after that.
My sis --> teacher initally always call up my mom to complain about my sis. My mom was a teacher in taiwan. so she tried her best to try to work with my sis's teachers since they called her to complain. But sadly, all that those teachers knew how to do was to call up parents and fullstop. They told my mom my sis neva pass up work, then neva bother to tell my mom wat exactly did my sis not do so there was no way my mom could have help them chase my sis for those work and they themselves could not bother with my sis. Well, of course my sis was very disrespectful to those teachers and really a pain in the ass. But still, those teachers could neva bother with my sis from the very beginning. They could not bother to spend time with such low-achiever like my sis. Neva bother to chase her down for every single assignment. Neva bother to force her back onto the right track. If grown up adults like my sis's teachers could not show a goddam care about my sister's behavior and her work, why should my sis? and of course if even the teachers dun give a shit about her work, why then should my mom be such an ass to keep chasing after her for those work? look, we are tokking about a 13 yr old girl who is already not having fun in school coz she is not doing well academically, the teachers hate her, can't be bother with her and got a mom who has nothing better to do but keep chasing after her for works tat even her teachers dun bother her about. WHAT KIND OF FUCKING RESULT DO YOU EXPECT TO COME FROM THIS KIND OF EDUCATION SYSTEM?!?!?!
My sis's experience, my own experience and my family's experience really make me give up on the singapore's education system. Sure, my sis's teachers gave remedia to those front end classes... all at the expenses of those lagging at the back. My sis was let to rot and survive on herself. If she made it then, good for her. but she didn't. She dropped out of school and neva really got back again. I managed to clean up my acts even though i hated those teachers to my bones at tat time. Well, you can probably say tat my sis was hopeless and there is no way she could have become good. But i always wonder if she will have suffered the same fate if she had someone like Mr Soo keep chasing after her and keep disciplining her no matter wat. I feel the education system in singapore focus too much on academic work and performance. A person's status is based purely on his performance academically. I had a taste of tat first hand while i was in NJC. I hated it. I was treated like a scum and was pinned down on my freedom to move just coz i was not doing well academically.
I guess the students in singapore realised tat they can get away with anything as long as they are doing fine academically. I saw some really scum bags in NJC that are total assholes but led they life the way they want just coz they are performing well academically. Well, this is the sad truth in the society i must admit. Assholes are able to get away with their shits just because they are rich or in positions that others can't attained. But is this the kind of message that we wanna give to our kids while they are still in school? that it is ok to lead the the life of a jerk as long as they are doing a decent work in the day?? i say this is nonsense. The singaporean society has gone too far in its persue of excellence that by placing excellence in the no. 1 position, all other factos in life takes second seat. the aim of no.1 came into first position, so in the name of economy need, social welfare can be compromised anytime. In the name of academic excellence, other areas of human development can be pushed aside to create time for studies (when i made use of the extra free periods to work out in the gym after i dropped bio. A chem teacher in NJ always scold me. she said "working out in the gym is not going to get you that grade you need do you noe that?!?!" wat BS...)
So sure, i am confident that with this new scheme, the bright and the smart students in singapore JC and sec school will reach yet another high level of academic performance. so what about the kind of jerks that this education system is producing currently? out of the many faces i recognised in the PSC scholarship news on straitstimes video, at least 2-3 of them have horrible moral characters and dun have the respect of their peers. Sure, i noe all of them are brilliant in their work but other than tat? nth more but morons. So while these bright and brilliant students are forking out extra time on top of their already taxing curriculum to learn even more informations and knowledges, I can only pray that they are changing into a better person in the mean time and that they dun be come a moron just like their seniors.
btw, the plan may be brilliant. but how it is performed in actual situation may be very different. Do you know that in many cases, the SRP students left most of their work for their professors to finish towards the end and in the end they still come up with all sorts of nonsense abt the kind of resilience they put up, the magnificiant job they pulled to balance their work. Yup, they are the chosen few, the elite, the creme le creme of the singaporean JC eduction.
posted by David at 7/31/2003 12:11:00 AM
Sunday, July 27, 2003
Hmm... actually got a feedback abt my last post. One of the girls i mentioned actually icq-ed me (using the word actually coz the last time we talked on icq was on 1st of JUNE...) and interrogate me abt it. OK. So pt proven. Obviously she neva look at me TAT way b4. MUAHAHAH. (or should i be crying instead?) Oh, we talked a little about that list which i listed. And she was very surprised seeing two names there. the first one she tot i dun really like her and got problem with, and the second one she say i concealled it very well. MUHAHAHA... a little too well perhaps?! heehee. oh well.
Oh, was on the phone with mike. Good old mike. Tat's is until he commented tat my blog entries are like a pool of vomit and wet shit. All jumble up and make no sense. DUH.......... why the hell he has to state the obvious?? stupid. oh, and tat girl refrained from commenting about my superb command of english. MUAHAHAH. aiyo. I am already trying to tidy things up around here you noe. First i am trying to tok in more proper sentence. Then i eliminate as much as i can the use of "........". And now i bother to structure a bit (yup, just ABIT) abt my paragraphs of each blog entry. be patient laaa. take time for things to happen. even more for me to organise. coz i am so bad at organising things and to double it up, i am organising my thoughts and tat is just a mission: impossible task by itself oledi. Sigh... promise i will do my best. Coz it is for my own good oso. But, it will be done when i get it done. So in the meantime, solli gomei dui bu qi!!!! MUAHAAH
posted by David at 7/27/2003 02:36:00 AM
Saturday, July 26, 2003
Always wonder if any girl tat noe me would look at me as someone of "partner" potential. no, not love-sick or any of tat nonsense. Just a tot. Coz like i say, nowadays have been giving quite some ppl "advice" on matters of heart. Seriously, i am like the LEAST qualified person to do such a duty. I have neva had a gf, and can't really say i have been out on a date seriously and have not really successfully went after a girl. So sometime i oso find it very interesting by the fact tat i keep getting ppl coming to me asking what they should do. So farni. But i guess i have been giving decent advices so tat's why they keep coming back for more. HAHA. Hmm, actually i have not even like went crazy after alot of ppl. OK, there is WX in pri, KC in sec, then came the horrible JC when you have JL, CL, AY, (just crush) and of course YS and XN ( these two most severe crush). Then NJ not really coz i was sleepwalking during tat period of time. But got to meet really nice ppl like Z, T, C and of course Y. OK... you noe wat, i have always blasted mike kwan for "codenaming" his gfs or the girls he like. BUT in this case i have to code name coz it is strictly to protect these ppl. I dun want the single fantasy of me cause them any distraut or trouble or most likely, shame. HAHAHHAAH. so you can see, i have been nth short of a complete mess in this area. And i really dun interact all tat much with the opposite sex now i am in US. Friendly tok is one thing. No solid deep toks to really worth mention abt. hmm... mayb once or twice, but those once in a blue moon kinda thing really no pt tokking about. Mayb oso coz i really can't be bothered with this kind of thing. So i most of the time very bo char attitude and thus, i am sure i not very taken seriously. Nonono, i am not saying i am desperate for attention or want to be taken seriously now, (hmm... correction, of course i want some decent amt of respect and be taken with a fair share of seriousness laaaa, but you noe wat i mean... blah..) but just tat i wonder if any girl will look at me as someone serious enuff or has wat it take as a person of "partner" potential. Get my pt? of course i dun mind ppl regard me as just a average nice and farni guy. but you noe... will be nice to be taken just a ted more serious than tat. coz i really dun think tat is the case rite now. HAHAH. not important.
Actually, i guess the biggest thing rite now is the discovery tat Batcha is still alive and kicking. Ok... here is how the Batcha incident happened.
Me and Batcha was suppose to go watch movie this wednesday 23rd July. So we agreed a week b4 tat i will call him the weekend b4 tat to settle the details. So i start calling him from last friday the 18th. But no matter how many times, no one pick up the phone. Then he is oso not online on MSN or AIM. so initially i tot he is just doing the batcha thing of sleeping 24 or 48 hrs marathon. So anywae i just keep trying to call him every two hour or so from the moment i wake up till i sleep at around 3-4 am. Still, after the weekend i really start to get worried. Coz we has planned to settle the movie details and yet i cannot contact him and he neva try to contact me at all. So i went over to baits a couple of times to knock on his door. and it was locked. ok... batcha has this habit of not locking his door. which is kinda not very safe, but it oso work to my advantage coz i can just drop by his room and enter anytime. But for the two times i went there, his door was locked. something he will only do if he leave the room. and for those tat know batcha, he dun move outside his room all tat much. so i really start to worry about wat could possibily happen to him. And i alerted other malaysians living in baits kampong about it. Yet, the report i got was even more alarming coz it seems tat no one has seen Batcha for the past few days oso. even jebai who initially just say batcha is just doing the batcha thing and onli breaking his last yr record onli began to get a little worry (he won't admit... chiron is too cool to admit such things. HAHA) so it was really getting on my nerve and i start to alert everyone about batcha and ask them to keep an eye out.
So came yesterday. One week after i cannot find batcha tat i decide to get into the bottom of this mystery. (if necessary, call the police... yup i was tat worried) coz i had this really bad nitemare abt wat could have happened on thursday nite. weird dreams consisting of all sorts of combi of wat could have happen. Like him dying in his room, he went on road trip, he went to cinema by himself and got caught by police and got locked up, etc etc. Just damn weird combi of ANY POSSIBLE scenario for why batcha happened. So after i did my errand for tat day which consist seeing my academic advisor and getting some documents signed by the north campus Icenter, i charged to baits again. I knocked on batcha's locked door for 15 minutes and still got no reply. went to knock on his suite mates door, but dun have any response oso (oh, one scenario in tat dream is tat batcha got murdered by his suite mate... shit...) so i went to stick around at epol's room playing CS till about 9 and i went over to check out azwan and see if he got see batcha. Well, call it stroke of genius or pure stupidity or ultimate desperation b4 i was going to call the cops to break into batcha's room. I was tokking to Azwan thru his window coz i tot it was fun (and coz his room is on grnd floor). Coz i called him first using my cell from outside his window and tok really loud into the window so he could hear two voices and tat make him really confused. HAHAH... so anywae, it then occurred to me tat i should go around to the back of the other side of the lee house and try to peek into batcha's window (he oso on grnd floor). Ok... here is the danger. It was getting dark and it was a slope kinda thing at the back of lee house. so one mis-step and i will roll into the trees below. and god knows wat nonsense is in tat wood to start with. But anywae, i decide to go around the back and take a look.
Anywae, as i was walking really carefully, i saw only light thru ONE window from tat row batcha was in. So my heart was really pumping bad coz i was really hoping it is from batcha's room. yup, it was, and batcha is infront of his comp. ok... damn happy. so i call out to him and act cool. yup, and tat big fella just smile smile and look at me like some idiot and ask me what i doing peeking from the window (ok... actually it IS a very idiotic act... but heck, i abit desperate get wat i mean?!) but anywae i told him very briefly (still outside the window) tat i have been trying to contact him for so blardy long time laaa and so were the others and everyone is a little worried. then he told me he suspect something is wrong with his phone. Hmm... anywae since i found him, i decide to go inside his room.
Once inside, i use my cell to call his phone and really no ring sound. Then i flick the switch at the side of the phone and the phone start to ring. ALAMAK. Batcha switched off the ringer LAAAAA... ALAMAK!!! all these chaos due to tat blardy switch. shit. So anywae the champion oso told me tat he was WONDERING how come he dun feel loved and no body been calling him. And oh yeah, he forgot to sign on MSN. WHY? coz he had been busy. oh, to be more exact, he was trying to be a Trekkie. actually, a full 18GB full of STAR TREK : Da Next Gen episodes. ALAMAK. champion, he was so engrossed in this collection tat he totally gone case. alamak. wat can i say? but anywae he signed onto MSN for the first time in a week and throngs of ppl came to pay him a visit. ok laaa... not say throng oso laaa, jebai, hapiz and epol. HAHAHA. damn farni incident. MUAHAHAH.
Anywae, we gonna go birchrun this coming wed and movie this thursday. HAHAH... all's well end's well.
posted by David at 7/26/2003 05:09:00 PM
Friday, July 25, 2003
Oh, dun ya think it is just so farni when someone keep speaking of himself in third person term? tat's why i think the president of taiwan is just such a dick when he open his mouth. Keep going Ah Bien this Ah Bien that. Damn stupid i think. I try to do a third person blog just now, but as you can see, it just dun work and i can't do it consistently thru-out the blog. MUAHAHAH.
Eh, the past really come and hunt you after sometime leh. Was chatting with this dude online when i had to dug out everything from memory lane. sigh... such unhappy memories. Can't even recall the exact details or how her voice sound like. Just have very bad impression of tat particular person after wat she had done to me and another girl. But my memory of her is really very vague, yet coz of this dude (in my attempt to protect him) i had to dig out as much as i can the details of wat happened and lay them out for them in the order of how they happened. SIGH... no choice.
Ai... i am now resign to the prospect of not having any hot chic on their way to UofM oledi. Damn pathetic. MUAHAHHA... no laaa, i am just praying they are at least nice and not weird weird like some of those here now. i cannot stand weird weird girls. hmm, or mayb it is just a case of me not wanting to use too much brain on them? hahah...
posted by David at 7/25/2003 03:14:00 AM
Let's tok about prejudice and the Taiwan Tank's way of doing things today.
Ahem... let's start with a relatively lighter topic shall we? Prejudice. Ok. For those ardent TaiwanTank Fans out there who has been fervently supporting this blog page, you should be pretty familiar with my dislike for girls tat keep thinking ang mo men are better and look down on asian man overall. Why do i say that? NOPE, it is not of the fact that i can't get myself any hot chic or wat not. But i hate this kind of generalising and it is so blardy unfair. And oso, i am tokking abt those kind of girls like SPGs, which kinda believes everything ang mo is good and everything asian is bad kinda attitude. No no no. This is a very bad kind of thinking. very sickening. SO. Why do i tok about this today? well, here is a story to share. The characters involved are heavily disguised to protect the innocent and possible riotings. HAHAHA. here we go: A Chinwawa (name of a race). Or to be more precise, a Chinwawa tat grew up in anothoer society call Malukuia (of which its son-of-the-soil are call the Maluku... think american chinese ok ?!) is currently going out with a Maluku girl. And a very nice Maluku girl i shall say. But somehow, this Chinwawa guy became the butt of joke among some of his Chinwawa friends who oso grew in tat Maluku society. WHY? because those Chinwawa believe they are more superior. Yet, these Chinwawas guys themselves always complain about Chinwawa girls looking down on them and prefer Eureka (yet another race...) men. Very farni dun ya think? (oso strangely familiar sounding dun ya think?)
Time and again, TaiwankTank has mentioned his fabulous grandmother in this blog. When TaiwanTank first came over to USA, his grandmother will ALWAYS tell TaiwanTank to love and respect EVERYONE he see. No matter the race. WHY? coz all men are equal despite their differences. ??? classic example of oxymoron ??? (besides seeing the words "smart", "intelligent" and "George W. Bush" in one single sentence. MUAHAH) but the Tank think once again, his grandmother is the wisest old lady in this planet. Sure, many obvious differences will exist among races and it will be impossible and (in my humble opinion) VERY BUSH-LIKE (i.e. stupid) to try to erase those differences. Yet, those differences should neva be the reasons for seperations n all tat rubbish. The TaiwanTank has many friends from many races. And i truly regard them as friends. From my Ri days, ppl like shariff, puva, prashan (i think i spell his name wrongly here.), helmi (of course) and alot more. Though i can't say i am very close to them, i really like their company and enjoy tokking to them and find them very very great ppl to know and mix arnd with. Neva for a second did i think i am superior to them or any of tat crap. I respect them. Their customs. Their way of behavior. In fact, i admire them a great deal simply of the fact of who they are. Like always, dunnoe wat exactly is so blardy zai abt them. They are just zai and i totally like them. Tat's all the reason i need. and yesh. Isn't it incredible for TaiwanTank's grandmother to say such kind of thing and have such kind of believe? get this, grandmother is from the age when she got her feet wrapped small ok!!! the most traditional woman in almost everyway. Yet she is so much more open minded than sooooo much more ppl. incredible yeah!?!?!
KK. Wat i just said also tie in with the second topic of the day. TaiwanTank has been kindly adviced by all the people tat loves him time and again to shut his blardy mouth up. Esp when got such situations like above which has a 99% chance of getting bombarded and tragic sideeffects on the Tank himself. Many ppl question wat good can possibly be achieved by these things tat the Tank does. And the Tank has to confess that not much usually come out of his outspoken and ultra direct and frank way of doing things. And the Tank always get into hot water coz of things like this. But why do the Tank keep doing such things? NO, the Tank does not enjoy stirring the honet's nest and getting stung all over. The Tank merely believe firmly tat he need to do what he should do, and not wat he can do. hmm... very weird sentence rite? ok. let the tank elaborate here. See, in a society there exist an invisible form of structure which governs wat kind of thing a person can do. If you are the minority, it is unwise to challenge to majority head on. If you are the junior, not wise to challenge those in higher authority or more senior to you directly. But of course if you are the majority and the senior grp of the side, then of course you can challenge the other party directly. So. This results in minority not daring to face against there oppressor even though they SHOULD and NEED to do so. And ppl not speaking up against wat is wrong coz they are not allowed and thus cannot, while they probably SHOULD and NEED to. SO. The Tank's way of doing thing is to make his feelings about things known the instant something happen. Yesh. The Tank has no problem letting his feelings be know. Though with age, the Tank learns to think more carefully before making simple actions like slapping a person or throwing his plate of food into some assholes face. however, the Tank is still the Tank, just like a dog cannot change his habit of eating shit. the Tank is NOT willing to put up with nonsense and will freaking let you know it if you are a crappy nonsense shit. SO. the Tank knows tat those Chinwawas tat are mentioned above occasionally read my blog and will identify themselves and other characters very quickly and oso all those related to tat story above oso read my blog and the consequence may be very catastrophic. However, the Tank cannot let such things go unnoticed. the Tank has tried to persuade those ignorant sad souls not to do wat they are doing in very gentle tones and only receive responses like "who the hell are you to tell me wat to do?!". Well, the Tank agree with the response but oso think it works both way. There is no stopping the Tank PITYING THE FOOL or laugh at those ball-less few tat join in the sick racist joke laughs and not do anything to correct it. Yes, this is the Tank's way of doing things. The Tank always believe in the possibilty of dropping dead the next second. And the Tank do not want to leave this world with the regret tat he could have done something or said something. The Tank does not mean tat he go about his work without any tact. The Tank is saying he will stop at NOTHING to do what he believe in, what he believe to be necessary and what he NEED and SHOULD do. Yes. This is the Tank's way of doing things. Hate it or Love it. This is the Tank. The TaiwanTank!!!
posted by David at 7/25/2003 02:35:00 AM
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Again a period of slacking from bloggin. Nothing HUGE happened since the last blog. Though i have done quite a lot of thinkings, well, this kind of things are sure to happen when you have too much free time on your hand... but anywae here are a quick rundown of wat had happened since.
Art fair is over and it was really a great experience. Working at the info booth was such a blast and totally satisfying experience. The look on people's face when i am able to help them is just totally worth it. There were even a couple of times when ppl come back to me and tell me that i have been most helpful and resourceful in helping them. One of them even commented tat i am the most helpful and caring info booth guy out of the 4 she had visited, even though i was not able to help her get wat she want exactly. Learned a great lot from tat experience at the info booth. I am sure those experience will go a long way!!
Finally got a job, but it is only for the month of august as a temp replacement for a dude going on vacation. Reception work at Inter-Library Loan at the grad library. Actually doing two people's work. Will do reception work and oso retriving job from various libraries for ILL. Will be getting the famously low library pay of 6.25 an hr for 20 hrs a week starting from aug 4th, but seriously, i am just happy to land on a job after so long. Not just financially speaking, but lazying around too much at home really kills ya.
As a side note, umemployment rate in taiwan is back to a high of 5.1%... which means about 50k plus ppl are rotting at home with no job. The govt is making a lot of short term temp jobs for ppl but in my opinion it is just a act to decrease unemployment figures short termly so tat everything look good before the big prez election next march. most of these jobs are only for 6 mths but oso, some of these jobs are not taken up. WHY? ppl are still too goddamn picky... too hot, too much work, too little pay etc. sigh... i guess my recent experience on job hunts really helps me to have a more focus mind about job hunting next time. HECK, i need the blardy money, might as well make myself useful and earn some money while waiting for better offers to come in!!! really, i dun understand why ppl complain so much about these work. it is money goddamit. money dun just drop off the sky ya noe... ya work and you get paid. be blardy grateful tat you still got a job offered to ya during such bad times. sigh... dun understand the things ppl do.
Just "found out" the list of ppl coming to UofM this fall. dun noe anyone of them, but ONE name sounds suspiciously dangerous. ANDY TAI. I am praying it is not tat senior of mine in RI tat use to bully me during Track last time. sob sob... nitemares. But i really won't be surprise if it IS him... after all, it is his batch's turn to enter uni now after their army dazes. Pls dun hurt me... and yeah. Dunnoe if got any hot chic coming, and even if there is, i won't noe them and probably won't get a chance to anyway since i am not exactly mixing a whole lot with the SSA. I do mix individually, but i dun particiapte in any of their activities. Maybe this yr when i get to know more ppl then i will go join once in a while or something, if not, not much of a biggie anyway.
Hmm... have been having some very interesting convs with this "junior". Talking to him (oso the case when i tok to other "juniors") really makes me reflect on my own position and make me realise the path i had taken and the situations i had met and dealt with. Not necessary with success all the time of course, but it is thru these talks with him and many others tat i get to reflect on the decisions i had made, the steps i had taken and consequences i had faced. Sometimes i had no choice but to say "DAMN i was good"... but MOST of the time i just have to go "Oops... wat the hell was i thinking" or "Ew... i really did that?!?!" and yeah... tokking and trying to preach to young minds make me feel like a million years old.
Currently doing a interesting project for one of the IRC channel. YOu noe those fan-sub works for Jdramas? I am currently helping out for one of them. Shotgun marriage starring Yutaka Takenouchi and Ryoko Hirosue. Of course i dunnoe jap laa... so wat i am doing is to be the scripter. Which means i copy down word for word the subtitles and compile them and send them back to the chief editor and let him make final touch ups before circulating them around online. HAHAHA... taking quite sometime coz i am super amateur of course. But i really wanna do it coz after watching so many jap drama, i feel it is time for me to give back a little. YESH!!! like i always say, i always feel very good when i contribute and is of use to ppl!!! YEAH!!!
posted by David at 7/23/2003 04:18:00 PM
Friday, July 18, 2003
Oh also, one of the food vendors offered me and my partner hapiz lunch!!! HAHAHAAH... it was nothing fantastic coz i am vegetarian but from wat hapiz had, i think it looked pretty good. He had two drumsticks with plain rice while i ate some mix vege with two skinned tomatoes and a bowl of quite yucky ang mo style of suan cai or giam choi. I dun even noe wat is the name of tat dish, the vendor just assure me it is totally vege and i just say thank you and start chucking them down my throat coz i was up since 5 and it was like 12 and my stomach is like rumbling like mad. Anyway the highlite of that meal (other than the fact tat it is a FREE LUNCH!!! hahaha... actually it is like an exchange for us letting them park there for an hr instead of 5 minute... /me so abuse of power? but no laaa, it was unintentional. he is vendor so of course i let him in laaa, but i din even realise the fact tat he overparked until my boss ask me to clear the drive so the huge container food truck can get in/out. hahah) anyway, as i was saying, the highlite was when i was busily chucking down the food, i swallowed the first tomato whole by itself. MUAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH.. yup, i was TAT hungry. but luckily it was very soft and not very hot oso, so i was pretty safe, but even i was surprised by how huge my throat is. MUAHAHAH... after all, the name David in chinese is call Da Wei and sounds just like big stomach. So of course it only make sense tat i have a throat just as big to match it rite!!! HAHAHA...
posted by David at 7/18/2003 03:31:00 PM
Was working at the union today. Unlike my usual set-up duty, i am doing the special art fair job of man-ing the drive (the kennedy drive at the back of the Munion.) And suddenly, i realised tat i am like this character in one of the four great chinese epic novels -- the journey to the west a.k.a. monkey king a.k.a xi you ji. Which character??? the PIIIIIG. Well ya see, there is this character which was originally incharge of guarding the South Heavenly gate of heaven - THE gate to the heaven according to Taoist believe and in tat book. Tat character was originally call Tian Peng Yuan Shuai which kinda means the Heavenly Hawk General. He is a very important man which lotsa power and respected by ppl. But BUT BUT, he screwed up on his job and oso offended the moon fairy and was banished to earth in the form of a PIG. Sooooo, it is exactly like how i feel while doing my job. See, I will decide who gets to go into the drive way to unload their cargo. While strictly speaking i can onli allow food vendors to go in, i dun really see why i can't make ppl's life easier and let ppl go in and unload their cargo if tat is all tat they wanna do. Also, everyone greets me when they go in and when they go out which was very nice of them. And oso for the fact i am guarding a makeshift "gate". of course, if i screw up, i will become a pig lor. HAHAHAH... understand wat i mean now??
Computer is still very screw up. I will get disconnected from the internet if my computer hangs. And tat will mean i can't open more than 3 operations at anyone time. Which is really ridiculous... then wat diff does comcast cable differ from the almighty Singnet dial up service?? crap... but luckily, been quite busy lately oso. For the past two days i have been volunteering at the ann arbor art fair, which if i am not wrong, is the largest street art fair in north east america. But largest or not, the size is really amazing and lotsa stuff to see. I am volunteering at the info booth. WHICH MEANS:
I sit there pretending to know everything
Ppl come to me pretending i know everything
I try to answer their questions pretending i know everything
Ppl listen to my answer pretending i know everything
pretty cool analogy eh?! HAHAHAH... but seriously, i think it is very fun and interesting. But sadly i am working at the HIGH CLASS side of the art fair and the cheapest item i found is this smaller-than-palm black color glass which cost 90 bucks... CRAZY!!!! but luckily i took some time to walk around liberty and state st side and saw some nice but cheaper items there. Was thinking of buying a neck chain but i am not gonna buy anything tat cost more than 10 buck. but seriously, dun really think i need any thing extra. got enuff cloth... oh wait... i need to buy a baggy long pants. the blardy levis jeans i bought is shrinking and i can't walk properly in them. actually it is very big size, but i am just not use to tat kind of cutting. For me, i prefer ultra-duper baggy pants. so the poor levis jeans which "fit-just-nice" is NOT under my NICE category of clothing. HAHAHA... so i shall see if got any cheap big pants around and i'll grab some. other than tat, it is still the age long hunt for a cheap track shoe. or rather a Queensway lower-mid end kind of cross trainer or some sort. looking at anything below 40 greenbacks and hopefully i have something before fall start. but seriously, i really like my old shoe even thou got holes here and there liao... BUT THEY ARE SO BLARDY COMFORTABLE!!! sigh... i just have this thing with parting with old stuffs. i think next time i will need to build a new room after every five year coz all the old stuff will pile up so high and my mom won't be around me to throw those junks away. HAHAHA
posted by David at 7/18/2003 03:15:00 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2003
My computer's internet connection is very screw up now. I think i may have to reformat everything before i can get back online thru it. but tat means i have to find a way to backup all my mp3s and tat is gonna be tough!!!
Still no luck with my job hunt. rite now i am volunteering at the the ann arbor arts fest. it is a really cool place to be. alots of funky stuff to see and very nice atmosphere. For those of you not in ann arbor now or all you damn fools tat keep insisting ann arbor is boring coz you fail to realise its unique beauty and are just so blardy blinded by what you are used to, you have no idea wat you are missing!!! really, ann arbor is a great place to be in, esp now. well, winter is of course disgustingly cold but well, such changes are always refreshing. and i think i treasure the hot summer times better after tat super cold winter i had. And of course, i dun complain as much abt the heat as i probably did last summer. HAHHA...
well, the pressure is now for me to build a goddamn decent webpage instead of this one-page rubbish. hhahahah... but i am just too lazy laaa... how? esp now my com now working properly so of course got the extra incentive for procrastinating. MUAHAHAH... well, it can neva be too difficult to find excuses for everything isn't it?
posted by David at 7/17/2003 03:22:00 AM
Friday, July 11, 2003
人沒變，變的是感覺 --劉墉
放暑假，兒子回家住，成天窩在他樓上的臥室裡。
「也不知道兒子在幹什麼？」有一天，我對太太說：「讓我上去瞧瞧。」
「你千萬別去！」太太居然攔我：「免得生氣。」
「為什麼？」
「因為亂得跟狗窩似的。」
「真的啊！」我伸伸舌頭：「不曉得他在宿舍裡，是不是也這麼亂。」
「也亂！」
「也亂？他不是有女朋友嗎？」我說：「女朋友去，會不幫他收拾嗎？」
太太一笑：「我早問過了，你知道兒子怎麼答嗎？他說女朋友的房間比他的還亂。」
我就是這樣當初怎麼不嫌呢？
「哎呀！年輕人的房間沒有不亂的。」一個朋友聽我抱怨，神祕地笑笑：「尤其那床，怎麼可能整齊？才起床，又睡了，加上有了男朋友女朋友，床更成了戰場。」
一瞪眼：「哪個戰場是整整齊齊的啊？」拍拍我：「放心！等他結婚，自然就好了，不好也得好了，否則就真不好了。」
「這是什麼意思？」我不懂。
「很簡單，當他進入社會，常有朋友到家來。有人來，能不收拾嗎？就算沒人來，人去上班，在外頭忙，情緒一定亂，回到家只希望清清爽爽的，如果再看到一團亂，兩個人非翻不可。」
他這話說得一點沒錯，我有次去個親戚家，兩口子正鬧彆扭，
丈夫把我拉到裡面，打開臥室門，大聲問：你看看！家！有這樣的嗎？」
他太太在外面聽到了，立刻拉著嗓子喊：「我從年輕就這樣，你怎麼不嫌我啊？搞到今天，看我什麼地方都不順眼。」
丈夫一下子被堵住了，停了幾秒，吼回去：「此一時也，彼一時也！妳不是大小姐了，妳是太太！」
「那你就去找太太，」太太又吼了回來：「我現在還是大小姐！」看上她潔癖何以如今又埋怨？
太太不收拾，丈夫可能會抱怨，妙的是，老婆如果太愛收拾，丈夫也可能怨。
有個朋友最近總對我訴苦：現在啊！我沒覺得有老婆，只覺得有個菲傭，每天吃完晚飯，她能用兩個鐘頭在廚房裡擦擦洗洗，擦洗完了，也累垮了，洗個澡就自己去睡了。結果你知道嗎？下班回家，跟她說句話的時間都沒有。連放假，都不閒著，東掃掃、西擦擦，搞不好，哪天把我都當垃圾掃出去了。」
我怔了一下，笑問：「我只記得十幾年前，常聽你讚美你女朋友多愛乾淨，說到她家，發現她家裡一塵不染，什麼東西都安排得井井有條。還說你一向鼻子敏感，可是到她家全好了。我問你，你是不是說過？」
他點頭。
「於是你娶了她，而且到現在十幾年，鼻子都不敏感了，對不對？」我再問。
他又點頭。「那時候，你覺得有潔癖是她的優點，為什麼現在又覺得是缺點了呢？」
我問：「是她改了，還是你變了？」
人總是在變此一時也彼一時？
每個人都總在變，即使身體沒變，感覺也可能變。好比在火車站，別的車子移動了，你卻覺得是自己的車在動。當自己的車移動時，又錯以為另一輛車在動。
我有個老朋友，最近離婚了，理由很抽象──太太嫌他太「愛現」。
只是，我這個朋友，跟我相交半世紀了，我從沒見他不愛現的時候。
小學，他為了現給女生看，能背整本「小學生字典」；中學他去教堂現」，聖經上用紅藍綠筆畫得比牧師還多；大學，他跟我學畫，能整夜不睡覺地趕工，只為了要讓我驚訝他能畫得又快又好。
進入社會，他演電視劇，不演戲的時候，走在街上還是現，逗得人人都盯著他看。
他跟他前妻也是在街上認識的。
「他是個甘草人物，團體裡有了他，就有生氣了。」記得二十年前，他女朋友在婚前對我說：「他的才華，沒話說。」
他的才華是沒話說，所以能把那傑出的女朋友，由馬路上吸引到臥室裡，成為他的妻。
只是，曾幾何時，他的愛現竟成為他的致命傷。會不會也是「此一時也，彼一時也」。
因為成了丈夫，就應該老成持重，不再活潑愛現呢？
一切都沒變
變的可能是感覺！
人多難捉摸啊！
一個吸引你的妖嬈女子，在成為你老婆之後，那妖嬈就可能被你譏為淫賤。
一個被妳讚賞為急公好義的人，成為妳的丈夫之後，就可能被妳評為好管閒事。
一個豪放大方的朋友，成為你的職員之後，就可能被你責備「公私不分」。
一對相戀的情侶，結婚之後，一切都沒變，卻可能「相愛容易，相處難」，使婚前一切的優點，都變為對方眼中的缺陷。
為什麼不想想，妳當初為何看上他？
為什麼不想想，如果他真不灑脫了、不再整齊了、不再逗趣了、不再豪情了……
他還是不是妳原來心中的那個他？
當你們彼此說對方變了的時候，會不會兩個人都沒變，變了的只是那種感覺、
那點情懷、那分默契？
posted by David at 7/11/2003 11:04:00 PM
Have been practising playing tennis against the wall for the past 2 week or so. Play about 3 times a week or so for abt an hr each. I very afraid of sun burn after the horrible sun burn i got after the sailing trip. My skin keep coming out for like a week or so until i had no choice but to buy sunbloc and keep "moisturising" them after i bath. ARGH... i hate doing that kind of stuff. I think onli girls do tat stuff but i dun really have a choice with my skins peeling off so badly and painfully. So anyway, i only go out to play for an hr just before the sun goes home. but still, even though quite short time, i still manage to get some hang of it and got more feel of wat nonsense i was doing. Basket, you should see how much time i spent looking for those balls during the first week... HAHAHHAHHAHA. but it was much much better after the second week coz i got a better grasp of wat is going on and also managed to find some websites explaining to me wat to do and wat not. So it was good.
Then yesterday i went to north campus to play with Batcha. ALAMAK, played like shit. sure i can hit the balls better now and not every single one of them leaves my racket as if i was trying to hit a homerun. HAHAHHA... but still it was my first "combat" situation and i kinda agitated and the control was just bad. dun ask. IT WAS BAD. but anywae, the good thing tat came out of tat game was that i had someone to give me more pointers about my gameplay. (other than a good workout coz i ran until my leg muscle like torn liao. but i think it is oso cause i cycled to north campus and continue playing the game without too much of rest. but tat is just excuse i think. hahaha... i am just unfit.)
Hong gave me one brief lesson about how to do my forehand and i am basically just keep practising tat and add it with those exercise i found on the web. But like every sport, you need someone to spot for you and get things rite. You can practise all you want, but without these occasional corrections, you will just go on making the same silly mistake and neva improve. So basically Batcha told me more things to keep in mind during my practise and showed me more details of how i should practise against the wall.
so i went really early today to practise. and it was fantastic. My shots were so much accurate and the shots were from the sweetpoints almost everyother time. very satisfied with the result today. The tip from yesterday is just wat i needed to get forward. But of course, the backhand is still quite disastrous and coz this is new practise, balls are still flying all over the place. but i can now hit like 10 times nonstop max and can at least hit like 3 good shots accurately. But it takes alot of focus coz i need to constantly remind myself wat i am doing and be very concious wat nonsense i may be doing. but still, today is very satisfying. Oh and i decided to go early today coz i think i need some sunshine and i am fed up of just playing like an hr each time. And coz of the "protection" i got now, i dun really give a heck about anything laaa. If the stupid skin want to peel then like it peel laaa, can't be bothered, i ain't gonna stay in the room like a girl so tat i dun get sun burn. The blardy sun is not gonna stop me from doing wat i want. And coz oso like a kid laaaa, just found some new exciting stuff so of course must "test" it out mah and doing it for an hr is just not enuff. So i end up playing like about 2 hr today. it was fun, but i am feeling abit strange abt my skin oledi. ARGH, damn nonsense...
posted by David at 7/11/2003 01:41:00 AM
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Ya noe something, i should get the feedback thing working somehow. While this blog serves its purpose and give me a place to shout out things i wanna say, it would be nice to see wat kind of feeback i get for the nonsense i say. But the problem is, a lot of ppl i noe and noe me personally is viewing this blog. I try to stay true to myself and say wat i wanna say without fearing the consequence (of course another way to put it would be tat i am too goddamn insensitive blah blah blah... too bad...) So how? Maybe i should worry about how to do it first before others. hmm... c how laaa
posted by David at 7/10/2003 03:08:00 AM
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Read this in an taiwanese article today about the recent SARS incident. The situation in taiwan is basically tat ppl dun trust politicians. They are sick about anything political but somehow, everything in taiwan tat we see abt the govt is politicalised. So, in the recent SARS incident, medical experts were called in to explain to the ppl wat exactly is going on. The ppl are sick of govt officials trying to cover up their ass and lie to them. So these experts from the medical fields were pulled in to explain. And the ppl liked them!! they trust those experts because they are not political. However, these experts were soon crucified in public for one reasons or another. WHY? Oso for the fact tat they are not political. They can't survive coz they do not noe how to tackle the political side of the issue and they became the scapegoats of politicians when the country ran into problems in combating SARS. Very sad...
We, as the common average ppl, think politicans are crooks. They do things to serve their political benefits. They spend millions of dollars to get into their seat so tat they can earn back billions. Well, those politicians ain't helping themselves with scandals after scandals exploding out in the news and getting associated with all those. So we grew to hate politicans and think of them as evils. Everything tat has got to do with politics is bad, they are evil. And somehow we came to believe that everything NON-POLITICAL is good. They are just, they are fair, they are good and did i mention tat they are NON POLITICAL? ya get the idea? and do you see the major flaw/problem here?
I believe in necessary evils. There are things tat the public need to know and they dun need to noe. There are two ways of looking at things as always. Ok... let's say something major screwed up (like there is a major chemical leak in a govt owned factory)and the govt covered it up. So wat is the public gonna look at it when they found out abt it later after it was cleaned up? Was it to save the ass of a couple of officials or was it an attempt to keep everything under control so tat the govt can proceed with the clean up without those media frenzy and social instability? Well, we can always say it would depend on how the govt actually tackled the situation and how they are able to strike tat "balance". But the truth is, whichever way you do it, some expert will go on some talkshow and give their opinion on it and slap the govt left and right, no matter how the govt handle the situation. NO MATTER HOW YOU DO IT, YA CAN'T PLEASE ANYONE!!! why? coz the ppl basically think the govt is screw up! with such kind of pre-assumption, no matter wat the govt did, the public is gonna scrutinise and find fault with ya!!! isn't it ridiculous?
Still, it is just the way ppl work!! you have your opinion about something/someone (how ya come to tat conclusion is not important... the point is tat you have a conclusion and i am SURE you looked at it from all perspective and you CANNOT be wrong...) and no matter wat happened, you go around finding reasons to reinforce that belief of yours. Alrite the govt is a dick, so when they give pension to old age folks near election time, they are bribing ppl (Neva mind the fact that it took a hell long of a time to pass tat budget n stuff). Alrite that guy is antisocial, so when he sit there alone and with tat long face, he is just doing this antisocial stuff coz he think he is too good for others (Neva mind the fact tat he maybe having a bad stomach or he doesn't noe ANYONE?!) Alrite tat girl is a biarch, so when she smiles at you, she is flirting and trying to be a slut (nvm the fact tat she is trying to be nice or tat you are a GIRL...)
get wat i mean? this kind of thinking is really horrible. When it is small scale, you hurt someone's feeling or you just go on your life as an ignorant dick with your silly beliefs. but if it some large scale thing, you topple countries and a goodman's life. Sad isn't it? Everyone of us is prone to such ignorance and definitely have those crazy beliefs with us. We laugh at others ignorance and neva notice how ignorant we ourselves are. How shameful is tat? nonon... being ignorant is not shameful. the fact tat WE are laughing at other ppl's ignorance while WE ourselves are ignorant in our own way is VERY VERY shameful and stupid.
So this reminds me of yet another story. A very famous ad in taiwan for a shaver company. Basically it was a conversation between two army officials in the shower room. a rookie officer was bitching to a more senior advisor who was shaving his beard about how he will kick the ass of his out of line recruits n shave them clean n stuff like tat. The senior guy, after shaving, looked at the junior officer and say "Remember, make sure you are shaved clean before you go shave others." Get it?!?!
posted by David at 7/09/2003 02:16:00 AM
Monday, July 07, 2003
Spent the whole day in Showcase today from 11 in the morning till 8 in the evening. Watched Finding Nemo, The Hulk, Terminator 3 and Charlie's Angels. Very nice films. Very tired now, dun even have the energy to cook after i came back. ate onli 2 pack of dry maggie mee with ketchup. will blog about this day when i wake up later.
posted by David at 7/07/2003 10:59:00 PM
Sunday, July 06, 2003
It is 5.19 am in the morning now. Just finished the film Meet Joe Black. Ok... now tat i have MET him (haha... lame...) it really triggered some thoughts. Love is something that i have neva truly understand. I have heard thousands and millions of explanations of love, yet i cannot say i totally understand it. Of course i love my parents, my family, my friends and etc etc. But how do i noe if i am really in love? Or if it is just an attachment of superficial things in this world? What is unconditional love? No... i am taking tat word to the very extreme. Can love be totally unconditional? Parents love their kids without truly asking ANYTHING in return? Lovers love each other without any other reason except for love itself? I believe unconditional love is an achieveable "thing". But i am not sure if i had seen too many of it in this world so far. In the very extreme sense. Absolutely no strings attached. Unconditional love... ah... isn't it wonderful? When you can love someone just because you love him/her. No other reason. Not physical, not wealth, not personality... NONE of those things that are impermanent. Just Love. But then again... the question of WHAT IS IMPERMANENT IN THIS WORLD arises. HAHAHA... pls tell me if you have an answer to tat one. well... perhaps i do have the answer to tat one. But again, not a total understanding coz of reasons i cannot figure out. HAHAHA... pardon me for it is already 5.29 now and one cannot expect too much from the brain of mine at this time of the day when it can't even seem to be able to function properly at "normal" hours.
I use to think i was TOTALLY in love with this girl back in RJ. I dunnoe why. But i just feel totally in love with her. Everything about her. Everything. It really killed me when i left RJ after 3 mths. (hmm... sidenote: i paused for a while after writing the sentence b4 this coz i sensed something was amiss. After awhile, i realised that i did not use the phrase KICKED OUT in there while i usually do... HAHAHA... just a thought!) But, somehow i was convinced by a friend of mine that it is just a silly crush. nothing more. i dun even noe her. i hardly spent time with her and i really dunnoe much about her. she is not exactly the prettiest around you noe... i mean, of course she is good looking in her own way but look was not exactly wat caught my attention. But still, i struggle even till now, to find out what is it about her tat totally make me "obsessed" with her. Or in my term... totally fell in love with her. Isn't it strange? Was it really love? Was it just a crush? Or did i experienced an unconditional love without even realising it and even doubt it?!?! hahah... i will neva noe. But the feeling is not there anymore. That crazy incredible feeling i had is no longer there. I use to draw her face in my mind everytime, but now i can't even remember how she looked like. HAHAHA... ok i lied... if i think REALLY hard, her image surfaced... but it is definitely not as clear/sharp a picture as it used to be. I remember her smile... i think. i am not sure. but i remember her. yet the feeling is not there anymore. well... definitely not the same intensity as it was before. ah... but i remembered how it felt. It was beautiful to FEEL ya are in love. go on, blame it on the raging hormones like my friend did. And throw all the blame on the fact tat i was stuck with 1699 other guys in a school for 4 years. HAHAHAH... but still, it was beautiful. very beautiful.
A girl called me today on my cellphone. I was asleep, so she left me a msg wishing me happy bday. When i woke up and listened to tat voice msg she left, i melted. sure, go on and throw in tat two explanations i gave above about hormones and RI. but still the fact was that i melted. She is really nice girl. again, i can't say i noe her tat well. But there is just something about her which i really find it attractive. it was always a joy to stay in touch with her. but this surprising gesture she did for me, it really melted me and yes... i just felt she is the nicest girl in the world and i totally felt in love with her. Wat kind of love is it? i dunnoe. But i think it is not the unconditional love i was tokking about. no, i dun think so. this feeling is obviously triggered by a very sweet gesture of her and the fact tat i think it is very sweet. So no, it is not unconditional love in its totally extreme and lunatic way. oh yes, some ppl said love cannot be explained and you noe it is love when you NOE it is love. HAHAHA... wat a beautiful explanation. but how can i be sure? perhaps i neva will! maybe i was just daydreaming and fantasising JUSt alittle too much... HAHAH... but still, it was beautiful, like one of those crazy hollywood lines...it was "surreal, but nice." hahah... VERY NICE. Thank you, ya noe who you are, you made my day. Hopefully one day i can repay your incredible gesture. Thanx girl. From the bottom of my heart.
I really should go to bed now. the sun is already up... YAWN...
posted by David at 7/06/2003 06:09:00 AM
Btw, up to you to believe wat i am gonna say now. I have always believe that my grandpa whom passed away in 1999 will pay me a visit in the form of a moth. When he passed away and my family hold the funeral ceremonies for him, there will always be a moth that flies around his alter when we are doing the rituals during tat 49-day period. And many times when i am sad or wat, a moth will just appear from nowhere!!! and just now when i returned from north campus and got into my room, a moth was waiting for me!!! when i sat on my desk infront of the computer, the moth (same tiny triangular brown beauty) rested arm my arm and refuse to go. So i just said "ye ye" very softly and start praying as i walk towards my room door coz i wanted to let the moth go free outside the building. Guess wat, as soon as i step outside my bedroom, the moth disappear. seriously, it just POOF and gone. I was looking down at it the whole time and it really literally disappeared at a blink of the eye. AMAZING ISN'T IT!!!! it probably flew to somewhere else in the apt but it really make me feel so good. I noe my grandpa definitely made his way to all the way up there coz he is such a nice guy deep down and isn't it just wonderful tat he remembered my bday and drop by to see me?!?! YIPPEEE!!! i am so happy!!!!
posted by David at 7/06/2003 02:17:00 AM
PART 3 OF a BLOG ENTRY -- SCROLL DOWN TO READ THE FIRST ENTRY FIRST YOU STUPID
1. I had a friend who use to drive me and another friend to class in central after this common class which the 3 of us take up at north campus. The 3 of us were classmates in singapore, but we weren't exactly tat close even though we feel close to some extend. but anyway, i always make it a pt to thank him after we reach central campus coz it was really generous of him to take us along with him coz he had to wait for a while for me esp. After 3-4 times, i became the onli passenger left in his car when he drive to central. The other guy did not say thank you during those 3-4 times. My drive friend felt like he was being treated like a chauffer by that other friend of ours... WOW...
2. I use to clean my dorm room quite regularly during the beginning of fall sem last year. I am not exactly the cleanest/most tidy person around but believe me, the 3 of us create so much mess in a week that if i am to onli clean the room once a week, i have so much to do. But afterawhile, i stopped and i onli took care of onli the area around me and no longer clean the whole room. WHY? during many of those times when i was cleaning the room, my roomies would just sit there and not do anything. no offer of helping me (er... does this room onli belong to me?!?!) or even bother to move away when i was cleaning tat region. and guess wat? during one of those room cleaning times, one of my roommate actually swept biscuit crumbs onto the floor when i had just cleaned tat portion of the room. er... i am kinda amazed at why i had not took a knife and stabbed him or something. AHAHHAHHAHA... but seriously, it just came to the conclusion that what i am doing is not appreciated by them and perhaps they dun even see the need of me doing those things. well fine... if tat's how they want it to be, then i will just clean the area around me onli and leave them with their trash. Well, you should see the kind of trash they left behind when they moved out. damn it was horrible and our room really stinked during tat time.
3. housework. I use to do my share of the house work in the apt even though my housemates dun think so. (well... not surprising since there is always someone tat destroys what i just cleaned and credit those mess to me...) i always scrub the bath tub and rewash the dishes/pots/pans that they washed during dinner coz i can still see what we ate the nite before when i use those things when i cook lunch the next day. Things, i neva say, and things, they neva appreciate. I saw the house is a mess, so i borrowed a vacuum cleaner. but i can't possibly borrow it everytime can i? so i suggested tat we go buy one, yet i was given the reply of "since you so obsessed with a vacuum cleaner you go get it yourself laaaa"... fine. Then when i see tat it is not very hygenic to take your shoes all the way into the apt and suggested tat we keep our shoes confine to the area just within the door way and where there is shoe storage for us to use, i was given the response of "put inside a bit won't die rite?"... FINE. so obviously there is a very huge gap between what i think is deemed needs to be done and what they deemed needs to be done. I would be very happy to sit down and iron differences out since tat is perhaps wat i would call a very mature thing to do, but yet it neva happened. perhaps they find me ridiculous not just for those things i mentioned above, but oso many others, but without giving me a chance to explain myself and let me voice my opinion and instead, threw those kind of comments at me, I think there is not much that needs to be said. i have neva try to protray the image of me being perfect or infallible. i have always admit tat i am wrong almost all the time so there MUST DEFINITELY be something which i did which they cannot accept and which they hates. But i would at least expect ppl to stand up and tell me what nonsense i did if it really bugged them tat much isn't it? instead of shutting me off and gossip among themselves like girls. argh... even when i try to ask them wat i had done wrong, i was given the reply of "wat do you think? it would be impossible for us to tell you everytime you had done wrong coz we treat you like an adult." er... i think there is a very big problem here. If you can SHARE among yourselves the details of wat i did wrong, then why can't you be the "responsible" housemates tat you claimed to be and point them out to me?! If you can organise a trial of the crimes i did and send me to isolation, why can't i be given the opportunity to represent myself during the trial? none of this make sense to me and i dunnoe wat to do. For sure i dun want to GET BACK at them! Why should i? it is obvious that i had done things wrongly to sparked such treatments, yet when i try to be more self concious and do things the way which i think they want me to, i dun get any response back. It is always hard to receive forgiveness esp from outsiders. But wat really interest me is that these 3 friends i had a month ago when we moved into this apt now became 3 strangers tat won't even say hi to me!!! wow... tat is really some friends i had there dun ya think??! hahah... nope, i am not trying to speak evil of them. They did things which i am sure they believed to be just and fair. though it make not too much sense to me, i respect their decisions and not for a moment did i do things to GET BACK at them. hmm... actually, i learned alot from them ya noe?! we all need a mirror to make ourselves better ppl. They did not want to be my mirror and point out my mistakes but still, watching the kind of things they did really make me a better person. I always pride myself in being open minded and neva jump to conclusions easily (well... actually i always come to conclusion TOO SLOWLY... hahah) but now, i am even more wary of false assumptions and i always make it a pt to look harder and deeper in another person's position and find out more b4 i make any decision. The mistakes i see my housemates made, are serious warnings for myself that i should neva commit such similar crime. So seriously, rather than hating them or dislike them, i am really grateful to some extend for wat they are doing to me now. though i must say i am still grieving the lost of 3 ppl that i once considered friends. i still respect them, but i noe if i try to be nice and friendly to them will only make them unhappy. so i try my best to keep out of sight to them and keep my mouth shut. hopefully this will lessen their dislike and anger they feel of my presence. hopefully.
Not sure if you guys get wat i meant in the 3 story i told (esp the last one when i tok lotsa rubbish tat probably dun make much sense...). But basically, it is all about appreciation. It is very hurting when a person did something and dun feel appreciated. Worse, the feeling of taken for granted and kind acts being misunderstood n taken advantage of is very very hurting. I am sure tat is exactly how my mom feels when i dun show my appreciation for her hardwork and when she stood there with her bad back ironing my school uniform and all she got was a half hearted "oh. xie xie" said by me and not looking at her at all.
July Fifth was my bday. So it meant extra for me to cook for those dudes at north campus. though i did not tell them, i hope by cooking for them, i shared the joy of celebration with them. It is neva fun celebrating bday alone coz i believe true joy must be one tat is shared. Hopefully i left those guys with happiness and not a bad stomach after the meal... HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAH... HAPPY 20th BDAY TO ME!!!! YIPPEEE!!!!!!!!!!
posted by David at 7/06/2003 01:42:00 AM
PART TWO OF a BLOG ENTRY --- pls scroll further down for the intro first entry
My knee hurt like crazy while i was cycling back from north campus today. It was really so bad that i had a hard time holding on to my bike. let's just say that i was not in the best of mood at tat time and not in a very compromising mood... so i pressed on despite the pain and my inability to control the bike well. The knee still hurts like shit now, but i am glad i cycled all the way back still within 25 minutes, even though towards the later part i was just crawling with my bike. HAHHAHA
Went to north campus today and had a little makan get together with Azwan, Batcha and Fer. I did my taiwanese beehoon and i should say it was a total failure. It could have gone very well except for the fact that i put too little vege into it, and thus was not able to have enuff vege to do their job of sticking their taste onto the otherwise very well prepared beehoon. The beehoon is just the way it should be, soft but bouncy. But there is just not enuff taste tat stuck onto them. So it was pretty bad. WHY? coz i remembered wrongly of what frozen mix vege i had bought. You see, i had tot i bought a pack of the oriental mix vege which would be perfect for the beehoon and i was planning to put half a pack of it into the beehoon. But turn out i did not buy it and instead am onli left with the garden mix vege. So i was kinda reluctant to put those broccoli into the mix and tat really compromises the dish. Also, i added the vegetarian oyster sauce into the beehoon which was not how i would usually do. WHY? coz i was afraid the 3 malaysians won't be familiar with the Taiwanese special BBQ sauce tat i usually put and found it hard or disgusting to eat. So i put the oyster sauce and thus much less BBQ sauce than i would. This again prove to be a very bad mistake coz the flavor was not brought out coz of my inability to control the salty/flavor of the two sauce combine. The vege oyster sauce is very different from its soya sauce paste which i am more familiar with and has a stronger flavor to it. If i had put in the same amt of SSpaste instead of the oyster sauce, it would have been rite on target. But with the oyster sauce, the flavor was just not brought out. sigh... so with these two fatal mistakes, i consider the beehoon to be a failure. It was really paisei that those guys had to eat it and yet thank me and keep praising me for the good job when i think i did so horribly. SIGH SIGH SIGH... nvm, will do a better job next time, if they give me the chance tat is.. HAHAHA
Well, this brings me to a very important lesson that i have learned ever since i came over here to US. the pt abt being appreciated. When i go over to cook tat beehoon, it was just an opportunity to get together with those dudes. I have always wanted to do it since Azwan told me he was eating from a can of tuna by itself and batcha everytime eating maggie mee. I would have chose to cook even more stuffs had it not for the fact tat i am vegetarian now and dun really have any meat that i can prepare for them. But still it is the thought tat counts i think. Whether my cooking is good or bad, it is just my way of telling those dudes tat i din forget them n stuff like tat. Ya think i am doing it so tat i get something in return? like wat? would in the world do ya think i can get in return for doing it for them? and further more, i think i am doing it more for myself instead of doing it for them. I hate eating meals by myself. so an opportunity to eat with those dudes after 2 weeks of eating my meals by myself is just great! so like i said before, those guys keep thanking me for the beehoon and keep saying it is nice n stuff. maybe they are just patronising me and being polite, but still, you noe how tat feels when someone cycle all the way from central campus to north campus? and carry pots and pans and huge bag of food all packed into a big reebok bag?? it feels appreciated. Whether they are being polite or are genuinely appreciative, it dun matter. I feel appreciated and if they hint or ask me to do it again, i will.
I am not a good son. When i was with my mom in singapore, HELL i took so many things for granted. You guys have NOOOO idea how clean my house is. We live by a very busy road. got traffic 24/7. Yet our house is absolutely clean until cannot clean. I can neva understand why my mom always work like mad and always cleaning the house and like to pull me to help her out and clean it when i just want to sleep or daydream WHEN the house is already so clean!!! HELL... OF COURSE THE HOUSE IS CLEAN COZ MY MOM IS CLEANING IT ALL THE TIME!!! and so are the other things she did. Of course i noe she is doing all those and i am just glad she is doing there for me (well... if she is not doing, guess who she is gonna call to do those chore?! so of course i am happy SHE is doing rite... hahahah... not tat farni now actually... kinda ashame...) but i NEVA show my appreciation. When she is always the last one to bath everynite so she can scrub every floor tile in the toilet EVERYDAY; when i always have a hot meal waiting for me when i am hungry or when it is time; when as if she has nothing better to do than cleaning the whole house every minute of the day and doing house work every single minute and neva rest, i neva say a single goddamn THANK YOU. hell... i am a total asshole. It is just two freaking words and i dun even have to mean it when i say it, i just have to ACT polite and those two words would have so very much make her day and make her feel so much more appreciated?!?!?! seriously... i am a dickhead. an ungrateful spoilt dickhead with no sense of gratitude.
but you realise how difficult it is to say those two words those close around you really?!? last time in RI, everytime we organise something, we make sure at the end of the whole thing we thank as many ppl tat were involve as we can. even if we dun have the time, the capts or the individual "big-guys" will go around to thank those involve during the debrief. We feel so appreciative everytime when your friends lend you assignments to copy and throw at them praises like "man, you saved my life" and yet we neva show our appreciation EVERYTIME when our mom cook our meals, when she iron our shirts, when she clean the house, or when our dad brings back his salary, when he look dead freaking tired after a day of work. It is very weird isn't it?! why is it tat feel more ready to extend the kind of appreciation and gratitude to "outsiders" and not our family who are the closest to us?! very strange isn't it? i neva truly understand how this feels or the importance of saying thank you or show your appreciation to even those closest around you until i came here to US. Here are some stories to share:
posted by David at 7/06/2003 01:41:00 AM
FINALLY... THIS IS THE PART 1 OF a BLOG... THE INTRO
Fantastic blogger again did not accept the long blog i wrote and deleted everything. (see the stupid comment blogger posted for me below...) Luckily i wrote the entry first in notepad. if not i would really go crazy for writing so much. So i am gonna slit them up into two parts. Of course you read part 1 first then part 2 laaa... but i wonder if you guys will read this which is gonna be the 3rd from the bottom of this ONE BLOG i intended... HAHAHHA
posted by David at 7/06/2003 01:40:00 AM
Friday, July 04, 2003
Test Run
Biked to North Campus this afternoon in preparation for future transportation between north and central campus come this fall. Dun think i will be tat crazy to bike around during winter with all tat thin ice on the ground. HAHAH... anywae, the trip from central to north took about 20 minutes, while the trip back took about five minute longer. WHY?! very simple. Coz there is a longer stretch of down slopes for my trip from central to north, and those became up-hills on the return trip. actually there is a fair share of slopes in north oso. but here is basically the geographical breakdown of the places.
The area in central is basically flat, so biking in tat area is very easy. Onli need to look out for cars. i can imagine a greater need for it during regular term when students with their reckless driving crawl around town then.
After central campus will of course be the hospital region. From the area near the bioengine construction site all the way past angelo's till the huge crossroad junction at the hospital drive/fuller park, it is all downslope. So the need is for me to keep braking and not get too caught up with the thrill of speed! of course such thrill will be come nitemare if i was going in the opposite direction. but then again my physical condition now is not say very good oso, will try to get over it hopefully by this summer.
The stretch opposite Miitchells fields is again very flat. But then it is only one tiny stretch so not much of a biggie to be concern about.
The beautiful north campus is really killer. Turning into the campus after the main road, and you have this V shape trail. Made the ultimate wrong choice of choosing the wrong trail on my way there. Both trails actually split up, but joins again later, but lucky me chose the one tat needs to climb up a incredible small hill tat is kinda steep that i almost rolled back. So will choose the other one definitely. Then to get to the Baits area is one super long climb. Can't make it so i had to jump out and walk up the hill instead. Basically the place is just very hilly. You think you got the momentum going when you are are going down one of those many V shape hills, but the momentum onli carry you 1/3 way thru the climb, then you have to climb the rest like shit. hahah... but it was really a good exercise.
My aim is to cut down the timings by five minute each. And hopefully will get use to the climbs better. My knee is still abit shaky to my surprise. Guess it's been a while since i really work it out. Still the stupid inner thigh muscle tat is immediately connected to the knees. It just start to tremble and feels like it is going to cramp when i was going up the hills. But when i stop and give it a break, it just dun feel weird anymore. But i dun really wanna give it too hard a time, so i will just start walking slowly from then on. Happened twice today. First when i was climbing up to Baits from the trail tat start from Bursley, and the second time when i was going back and working on that long stretch of hill at the hospital area... it was worse the second time it happen so i had to got off and start walking from the multiplex carpark all the way to the power center. Hmm... hopefully with more cycling will get tat crazy dudes into shape again.
I think will use cycling as an option if and onli if my fitness is ready when fall starts. Dun want to cycle like mad to class and get all tired and fall asleep during those morning lectures. Will be quite stupid to do tat, when taking the bus there will oso take about 20 minutes. (and somemore can perhaps see chio bu on the bus oso... HAHAHHAHA)
posted by David at 7/04/2003 01:39:00 AM
Thursday, July 03, 2003
To my friends:
There is no need to say nice things in front of me, but just please remember to say thank you and remind me time and again whenever i did something wrong and point out where i had faulted.
Wat kind of friend would i be if i onli say the things you wanna hear? Wat kind of friend would i be if i need to sugar coat watever word i have to say to you? Wat kind of friend if i hold back my fist when you are doing silly things to yourself and should be punched?
It is not about being tactful. I would rather you hate me for saying it than me hating myself for not saying it to you when i have the chance. If you wanna hate me, hate me for trying to be as true a friend as i can be. I dun want to wear a mask in front of someone i call friend. I apologise if my frank-ness caused any harm to you, but pls remember it was neva my intention to hurt you.
My definition of friend has always been blasted by ppl i noe. Actually, i dun even noe wat is my definition of it. I call ppl tat nobody trust as my friend simply coz he has neva cheated me before. I call ppl tat most consider to be fair weather friends as my friends simply coz they have neva try to cheat me oso. I have no problem chatting with the so call outkast of the group or mix with those deemed uncool around me. I dun see the problem with me doing tat, but to those tat consider themselves to be true friends of mine, they feel insulted n such to be grouped in the same category as "those" ppl by me. HAHAHAH... i can understand why they feel this way... but i fail to be convinced on why i should place such a emphasize on those differences.
There is a chinese saying which means tat a gentleman tat associate himself with thieves will cause other gentleman to distant themselves from him. But who can be the judge to say who is the thief? Can millionaires tat buy over companies and lay off hundreds of workers and leave them with peanuts to feed their family be considered more noble to a man tat rob in order to feed his family? nah... i hate such differentiations. But ppl always like to judge things. Us VS Them. Good VS Bad. So tiring... how the hell do you think those World War started? there is a need to classify things, but my point is, i just dun like to classify things tat others would think it is necessary to. OH WELL... as usual, i dun make too much of sense here rite?! hahah... good good, exactly wat i want it to be!!! like this then ppl will read it and come up with all sorts of weird explanations of wat i had said and think i am the biggest jerk/freak/asshole/genius in the world!!! isn't it fun?!?!
btw, notice i am trying to use proper sentence structure?? i wrote it in the long blog i wrote last time that i am trying to make it a point to write properly. The "..." i have been using is really affecting my essay writing skill. It kinda adds on to the in-coherent-ness of wat i write. So i guess i should take the first step of cutting down on the "..." on wat i blog!!! HAHAHAH
posted by David at 7/03/2003 01:35:00 AM
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
I wrote a really really long post just now but it miraculously disappeared, and left me the wonderful "BIG POST ERROR". OK... so maybe there is a word limit of how long a single blog entry can be. Kinda retarded dun ya think?!
posted by David at 7/01/2003 10:39:00 AM
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